I’m sitting here this morning praying and trying to
find something to write about. I’m looking at my 6 pictures of my kids, praying
for their lives and happiness, wishing I was at home to watch them sleep and
make them pancakes. Instead I’m locked in a cell separated from everything and
everybody that I love. Alone. Years ago, when I began this life, the one that
got me here, I had no idea what the word alone really meant. I wonder if these
5 people, children, my kids, whose pictures I look at each day, will experience
the same loneliness and isolation that I have experienced. Will it be my fault?
Is there anything I could have done to prevent it?
Angela,
Zarria, Nick, Savanah, Faith, Hunter, and Mia…you are my family…the only family
I have…you are the people I want to protect the most. I want to spend every
waking hour with all of you and laugh, play, teach, and encourage. I want to be
your father, your best friend, and your soul mate. I am terrified. I have no
idea what I’m doing. I’ve made many mistakes in my life and will make many more
I’m sure. I need to know each one of you in an intimate way. In a way that is
deeper than I can explain in order for me to do you the justice that we all
want. To feel the love and all the things we all really desire, we must all
take an individual responsibility to know God, to develop a personal
relationship with Christ. That’s the only way that I know how we can all meet
in that secret place with one another that fully describes the one thing we all
want with each other, love, fellowship, and happiness. That’s what will dry our
eyes of the tears we shed. That’s what will give us hope and that’s what the
first step is to God answering the prayers that you pray.
In this world, God gave me the choice to
flee from sin or embrace it, and He is my father. He also gave you the choice
to flee from sin or embrace it, and likewise He is your father. As you father
on Earth, I also have to give you a choice to live your life the way you want.
I will always try to encourage you in the direction that I feel is right and
will benefit you, but ultimately the choice is yours. Your sins will affect you
the same way mine have affected me. As I am praying for mine, you will also
pray for yours. As you have suffered from my sin, your loved ones will also
suffer from yours. The best thing we can all do to stop this horrible cycle
that we are in is to develop a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and
understand fully what that means for you as an individual. It will be different
for one than it is the other, but at the end of the day if we put God first in
all that we do as individuals, we will all receive that which we long to have
day in and day out…Love.
Prayer: Father
God, I pray that you would impart your wisdom to the parents of the world who
struggle with life. Teach us to be the parents we need to be to preserve our
family’s future and keep sin from further destroying the things that we were all
put on this earth to enjoy. Loving you and loving each other, in Jesus name,
Amen.
Thoughts: Zarria Leach
Carson – beautiful, smart, a great mother and wife. Nick Carson – Also my son
whom I’m very proud of, a great father and husband. He has many qualities that
I look up to. Thanks Nick! Savanah Nicole Leach – “my buddy”, soldier, warrior,
rebel, confident. Use your talents for the Lord and nothing will stop you baby
girl. Faith Elizabeth Leach – original, one of a kind, soft, creative, she
gives the most amazing love a father could dream of. Hunter Ryan Leach –
energetic, cautious, yet bold, athletic. He’s going to be a great father and
man of God! One heck of an outdoorsman. Mia Kathryn Kemp – precious, bright,
special, a miracle to many. She will be the perfect mother and wife. I love you
little girl.
Those
are my children, given to me by God, a blessing to my life and inspiration. I
also am pleased with them. Each one of you deserves a father who loves the Lord
and will walk with you through life as it comes at us. We need each other. We
are family and if we are obedient to God, Satan will never break down this
family again. I stand on that in the name of Jesus. We all have a part and a
responsibility in its success. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.
Period. Kick rocks Satan!!
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