Journal 3-6-14

Matthew 6:22-24 – The eye is the lamp of the body. So if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, but if your eye is bad your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness. No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve two masters.

Matthew 6:33-34 – But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

            I have been feeling dry the last several days. Maybe you all should pray for me. Could be because I’ve moved to a new spot and I don’t like it as well. I’m not in my routine, the privacy is not as private, and I am just not as comfortable. I suppose that life outside these walls will be similar, full of changes and challenges, new people, etc. Maybe this is good practice. Lately I’ve been thinking about my life when I get out of prison and what I’ll do, who I’ll be with, and just trying to figure out where God wants me! Most of my life I’ve had all that figured out and a plan set in place. I’m going to definitely be handicapped this round. I’m seeing that as an opportunity to grow and trust God. There are a few things that I’d like to do but my gut tells me different. It says to step outside of what you want Cody. I have to ask myself, “Why not?” I haven’t ever had much luck in my life so far running the show. Maybe I’ll just try it God’s way this time and see what happens. Learn not to be anxious, trust God, and “seek first the kingdom of God.” My whole life I’ve been radically anti-good, meaning I’ve lived a life that was good for Cody, so I thought. I know one thing about me; I am very in tune with listening to that little voice in my head. Often times before I’ve ignored that little voice in my head and tried to make my own rules. You ever done that Savanah? How about you Angela? I’ve become good at fabricating God’s “plan for my life to fit my desires”. Being a construction worker, I know that if you come to a job site with two plans, you will get two different buildings started and nothing will finish lest you tear it down and start over! Lol Here I am! Maybe I’ll take the back seat this time and think on Matthew 6:24 – No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other, but we cannot serve God and other things at the same time! It’s a recipe for disaster.

Prayer: Father God, help me to hear the call you have on my life today and don’t let anything or anybody get in the way of our plan together. In Jesus name, Amen

Random Thought: I’m in a spot in my life that makes me a little fearful but also excited. I pray that God gives me the courage to rely on him 100% and not mess things up with those things I am comfortable with. Just like moving to a new place in prison and being uncomfortable. Instead of 2 people to a room there are 10, many more distractions, not as many people are familiar with me and what I stand for in this new place. Just yesterday I let someone read my little post and they didn’t even finish it! I wanted to tell him, “Nobody has ever not finished one!” and growl at him! But I didn’t, I just said quietly, “I tried God”. So I’m out of my comfort zone and I guess there are some good things that will come from that. 1) I started a prayer circle every night before bedtime in this wing which I didn’t have in the other. I was nervous at first but God told me to ask and I was surprised to see how many people showed a thankful and participating spirit. 2) It gives me a whole new group of guys to try and reach with my story and what God is doing in my life. 3) It’s the next step in going home. 4) Since I’ve started doing this lesson this morning God has told me that He’s got everything under control. All I have to do is put Him first in all things and He will work out the rest!