Monday, March 24, 2014

Journal 3-3-14

Psalms 40:1-3 – I waited patiently for the Lord; He inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the Lord.
Isaiah 40:31 – But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

            I’ve never been very good at waiting for anything I don’t guess. I guess that explains a lot about my personality. I am Mr. Instant Gratification. Maybe that is some typical characteristics of addiction and sin. I’m sure you could fit selfishness in there somewhere! Maybe that’s the nature of being a baby! You ever watched a 2 year old play? When they want something they just go get it and there is no talk of waiting. I feel that way sometimes in my walk with Christ! Like I am just a baby and I want what I want and want it now. God sure does have a sense of humor and knows best how to tame the horses in his field. I feel like He has me in the one spot where I have to get good at waiting. That’s all I do is wait! Three times a day I wait on meals. Weekly I wait on mail. Three times a day I wait on my door to pop open so I can get out of this cage for two hours only to do more waiting at the phone line so I can make a call. Daily I wait on morning time so I can get 3 quiet hours with the Lord and have no distractions.
 I don’t guess I’ve ever been a very patient person. I have been praying for things and some relationships of mine to change or for God to give me some direction and every day I desire to see that God has answered my prayers.  Just days ago I prayed that God would let me watch deer in the lot across the street and 3 or 4 days later they showed up! I like these two verses in Psalms and Isaiah; they give me hope that God hasn’t forgotten me. He’s just teaching me that everything happens in His time and He knows better than I what there is to wait for. He says in Psalm 37:4 “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Come to think of it, I may not like it, but waiting for the desires of my heart will probably be worth it! Besides, He’s been waiting for 42 years for me to pull my head out of my butt and listen to what He has for me. There’s no telling how many desires of my heart I’ve missed out on because I didn’t want to wait for God to fulfill those desires. I let Cody screw it all up! Thanks God for reminding me of that today!

Prayer: Father God, thank you for putting me in a spot today where I can learn to wait for you and not feel like I have to push the issue! I see that you really do have it all under control. Your will be done Lord in your time not mine. Amen

Random Thought: I’ve never been in such a spot in my life. I’m 42 years old, have no money to speak of, no furniture, no home, I own nothing. I owe a lot. If I had 100 dollars for every time I’ve been in this spot in my life the last 15 years I’d have enough to pay all my debt and fix all those problems I’ve just mentioned. Normally I would be stressing about how I’m going to do this, get to work, ect. But I’m not really worried about that today. All I’m worried about is slowing my life down enough to enjoy my kids and my family, watch them grow. I want to continue these posts and do the things that God tells me He wants for me to do in His time not mine.
            There are a few things I’ve been praying for lately that are weighing heavy on my heart. Some days those things are easier for me to accept than others. You ever prayed the prayer, “God I want your will for my life but could you please incline your will to be just like mine!”…lol. I do often. I know that whatever God has for me today that He knows best and really I’m good with that, but because I’m human I still have personal desires and hopes. I also want for those issues in my life to clear up radically fast so my torment can be over and I can get on with my life. Saying all that, I can see God teaching me today acceptance of His will and patience for that to take place. It is verses like those I’ve mentioned above that give me hope and encouragement that He knows best and He will deliver. In 1 Kings 8:56 it says “Blessed be the Lord who has given rest to His people, according to all that He promises: not one word has failed of all his good promises which He spoke by Moses His servant.” With reminders like that, waiting doesn’t seem too bad!

            Also, something strange happened today. Today is March 3 and I ran out of my daily copy of “Our Daily Bread” 3 days ago. Until today I did not receive a copy of it. By the time I received a copy of it to read I had already written today’s post. Here is the weird part, upon receiving my new Daily Bread I picked it up to see about today’s reading as I am behind. Today’s message is on instant gratification and waiting, being patient. It used Psalm 27:14 as a reference, “Wait on the Lord; be of good courage and He will strengthen your heart.” For this day somebody had the same idea I did! I thought that was cool and just shows how crazy God works, obviously that message has been brought to me or somebody for a reason! 

No comments:

Post a Comment