Step 2 - We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. I like to say that "we finally figured out that God was the only thing we hadn't tried to fix our problems."
Philippians 2:13 - "For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases Him." Another translation says "For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure".
I noticed that in the last few years, no matter how hard I tried to be happy with my life I just couldn't. There was no God there. My life was filled with so much sin and selfishness that I just couldn't get happy anymore. My life sucked. Everything I tried to fill it with that used to work didn't work very well anymore for very long, if any at all. I started realizing that God was the only thing I had never given a chance and the only thing I had always heard that would work. Go figure! You got a million people telling you God is the answer but your selfish flesh just won't let go of what is obviously not going to work because you've been trying it since you were 16 and it just keeps getting worse.
I think that is where step 2 came up with the "sanity" part and the saying "if you continue to do what you've always done, you're going to continue to get what you've always got." No kidding. Why has it taken me 25 years to figure that out? I've been hearing it for a long time. The only thing I can think of is "self-will-run RIOT" or "self-will-gone plum crazy, psycho".
I don't know what happened when I got locked up. I don't know if God came to my rescue and said o.k. let's get him up, dust him off, and give him another chance, or if because I was so helpless and hopeless in my life I started to "try God out again" and because of my efforts He said o.k Cody, you can have another chance, I'm tired of watching you suffer. My point is scripture indicates to me both are possible and that God chooses us, we don't choose Him. We have to turn to Him and make the first move. I don't know exactly what happened and don't care. I'm sure God can do what He wants. He's God. Whatever the case, today in my life just four and a half months later, I see that "for God is working in you, giving you the desire and power to please Him." So however God got from point A to B, being in me, I don't care. I'm just glad He did. I notice in my life that He is giving me the desire and ability to do things or change things in my life that never would have bothered me otherwise. I see him working in my life and it's very comforting to know it's going to be o.k. "Thanks man. I love you."
Prayer: Father God, I pray Psalm 51:10-12 today "create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your holy spirit from me. Restore me to the joy of your salvation and uphold me with a willing spirit." Amen.
Random Thought: I miss my family today. I wish we could be piled up on the couch together or in the floor eating popcorn, watching movies, and poking and irritating each other. Love you Angela, Mia, Zarria, Nick, Savanah, Faith, and Hunter! I'm proud of all of you. See you soon. Love Dad.
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