Journal 2-8-14

Grace is getting what we do not deserve. Mercy is not receiving what we do deserve.

 (From our Daily Bread)

Psalm 90

     I've been on this Psalm kick lately to crack the code or discover what turmoil the writer was in when he wrote it. I've never cared much for Psalms, because I never gave them a chance. They were like weird poetry to me. I'm not a poetry kind of guy. But I'm finding that many of them have a lot to offer me, especially if you begin to break them down and look at their individual verses and why they were written. For my whole life I always thought that the Bible was written by people who were much like "perfect" followers of God. Someone I could not compete with. But in actually studying the Bible and reading some of it I am finding that to not be the truth. It's a history book of people with problems and issues just like me. Murderers, adulterers, warriors, perverts, jailed people, thief's, all kinds of normal people who struggled in life to find their way and found in through being faithful to God just like you and I. 

     I am really enjoying the Bible today, old and new testament, because I'm giving it a chance. It reveals things to me about myself that I did not know. It gives me answers. It's how God speaks to me. All because someone journaled or wrote down their life experiences. Who would have thought that Moses, the man of God, a normal guy could have influenced me, an electrician, in 2014 to follow the call of God. Their lives back then were much different than ours today but they still struggled with the same sin we do today. 

     So back to my Psalm. Psalm 90 was written as a prayer of Moses, the man of God. I was originally introduced to this Psalm though a book that I read and had focused on the very last verse (17) "...establish the work of our hands". Those 6 words I repeat to myself daily, numerous times a day. Yes, even at the poker table...God help me... My original liking of this verse had to do with my individual prayer life and my family, my jobs, and my postings. It has become a constant prayer of mine that God will bless these journals I write, inspire someone somewhere to pull their life together and be a better person for it. "So God please establish the work of our hands and let the information you want reach the people you need it to reach!" 

     So obviously, in looking further into the whole entire Psalm I see it as a prayer of Moses. Maybe one of his later years. As he reflects on his life and looks at his success and failures he also reminds me of my life in verses 10-12. Remembering that life is short and often filled with sorrow, we should ask God how he wants us to spend our days and concentrate on making our life count for something. We have wasted enough time creating our own problems. We should focus now on growing in wisdom and making positive changes in our life (especially at 42) so we can accomplish things for God. 

     In verses 13-17 I begin to see that our restoration to wholeness and health depends on our cooperation with God. Only He can give us the power to be what we ought to be. God will not force changes on us, we must want to change. We must begin through prayer and bible study. We can ask God to make us willing to change and give us strength to follow through with action, but the decision is ours and ours alone. 

Prayer: Father God, in verse 14 it tells me to ask for you to fill my cup in the mornings when we spend time together and in verse 15 Lord it gives me hope that you'll give me 42 years more to do good instead of evil. Thank you Father. In verse 16, Lord, it tell me that for that my grandchildren's grandchildren may benefit. So father God, the sky is the limit with you and I am your servant. So Lord God, please establish the work of our hands Lord. Yes, establish the work of our hands. Amen. 

Random thought: While writing this journal today God began to drop thoughts into my head that are very exciting and a little uncomfortable and out of the ordinary for me. But I am going to honor that and see what happens. First, I want everyone to know that I am in prison and hope to be out my mid summer or early spring. So in an effort to invest in my 5 children's lives, my family's, and the most amazing son-in-law a man could ever ask for, I started having my daughter post these journals for me and start a blog for my kids to read. It has since turned into much more for me. My mission to help the lost, lonely, addicted, and spiritually bankrupt people in this world through my own personal  insight and experiences in my 42 years of life. I ill someday soon, after further prayer and investigation, begin to ask for donations to hep people in need like addicted single mothers, fathers, and people fresh out of prison. People whose poor choices have caused them to give up on life. God has it planted in the back of my mind that a foundation or halfway house, a safe place for people to rest, may be coming. I am so excited to see what God is going to do! Psalm 107:10-14; 41-43

Prayer Requests: 

• Please make it a never ceasing prayer that this journal makes it everyday to someone somewhere who will read it and gain a bit from it. 
• Pat from Nevada Missouri came home from the hospital. Continue to pray as doctors try to find out what is the cause of her hemorrhages.
• Melisa in Pennsylvania still needs prayer.
• Pray for Angela and I that we can make it through this tough time in our relationship and find peace and comfort in God first and each other next. I pray that God makes His will for our lives together obvious.