Step 8: We made a list of all the persons we have harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
Luke 6:31 - "Do to others as you would like them to do to you."
I don't know that I have ever actually made a list of the people I have harmed but maybe I should. I've harmed plenty. Some on purpose and some not on purpose. I know that more times than not I probably focus on what people have done to me. I guess that's just the selfish nature in humans. I am learning that in order for me to stay on track with God's will for my life and to stay focused on doing the right thing, apologies and correction or reimbursement are part of what I need to do to keep that little voice in my head from barking at me. That's part of what motivates me to write and post what I post. Sometimes it acts like a confession to me and doing that is a release for me and a breath of fresh air.
Most of the time I don't go around thinking about all the bad things I've done but if I write them down it might be easier for me to remember who I need to make things right with. I believe that this is a very important part of recovery and just opens the door or makes room for Christ to get a little more of Himself in you! I picture it like this: let's say you were recently saved and living for Christ and your carrying around all this baggage. It would be like wearing a jumpsuit or pair of overalls that my grandmother made out of patches. You know, like one of those big patch cloth quilts. Every time you write someone's name down that you owe an apology and go to that person and apologize it would be like tearing off the patch so that Christ, who is living in you, could give off more of His light in your life. The goal is to get all the patches off so that we can radiate Christ's fullness in our lives, not have His goodness smothered out by sin. Confession and making things right with people actually cleans us, it opens the door for God to have more access to us. Does that make sense?
Having said all that, I come to step 9, "We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others" and Matthew 5:23-24 "If you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar and...someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God." God gives us clear cut instructions. He wants us to first make it right with the people we've wronged before we ask for His forgiveness. This would demonstrate real love of your neighbor and do unto others as you would want them to do unto you.
Prayer: Lord God, please help me to clean my slate 100% and get my life to a spot where I can receive your fullness and Father God I pray Psalms 51:10-12 for all of us, "create in us a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within us. Cast us not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from us. Restore us to the joy of your salvation and uphold us with a willing spirit." Amen
Random thought: One of the things I've struggled with most in my life is love. Since I was small, I struggled with loss and rejection from my father and my mother, then later in life it was a girlfriend, then my kids, or my wife. Today I still struggle with the same things pretty much. I want to be loved. I wonder if everyone really just wants the same thing. I believe that God made us all to experience His love and the desire to want to be loved is the very core of what makes us children of God. Looking back on my life, I can see that my desire to be loved probably affected some people in my life whom I should have been loving and desired love from me! I think when I get to heaven I may ask God why we had to make something so beautiful and needed so darn complicated. Why can't we all just love one another and treat each other with that love? To my friends, family, and girlfriend, I want you all to know that I love you and I need you all in my life. I am sorry for all the errors I've made as a man, father, boyfriend, and friend. I have full confidence that in getting my life right with God and experiencing His love that I will be much better equipped to love you the way I should have been for a long time. Please forgive me for not realizing that without God's perfect love in my life there is no way I could have loved you perfectly like I wanted to. I know I've made many mistakes and I know we all have. I think if we all can figure out what it really means to love through Jesus Christ then we all could give a little more to each other what we all are really looking for. A perfect love.
No comments:
Post a Comment