Ch. 12 Praying together - Guardian of Intimacy
Matthew 19:4-5, Amos 3:3, Ephesians 5:22-33
In reading and writing this chapter and these verses I am thinking that one reason I like to write is to build accountability to my friends, family, and children. I want to spill my guts and become more real with you all. I guess you could say that that alone would build intimacy, a closeness together by posting my real feelings and making myself vulnerable. It gives me a release of conviction, the opportunity at forgiveness and growth. So I guess as much as I'm doing these things for my kids and Angela, I'm doing them for myself as well. I want people to expect me to live a better and more pleasing life to God when I get out than I once did. For me this gives Satan less of a chance to sneak in and squash the good work that has started. I'm sure he's working on a plan right now. So for protection, I hope these posts make it to 1000's. The more it reaches the safer I will be. Weird, huh.
One thing I've learned in 42 years of my life is that in any relationship you have with a woman being honest, transparent, being real will help you to become better friends. It says that in the Bible two should become one flesh in a marriage and that we should also live our lives as individuals with Christ that way. I don't know if I should go where I am about to go with Angela or not, but I'm going to make a stab and see what happens. From the start Angela and I have been close and very quickly we became best friends. Now I know that we both have made mistakes with one another but we have somehow fallen in love and I feel closer to her as one flesh than I ever have with anybody. She knows everything and I mean everything about me! Things my parents, children, and family do not know! I know that our relationship however close and wonderful it has been started unhealthy in the eyes of God. But I also believe that He introduced us because of our potential and our compatibility together.
Right now Angela is struggling with life and my being gone and I know that she is concerned that my new found faith will create and uncomfortable awkwardness between us that we have never had. As much as we love each other, I hope and pray that I will be able to rub off a little goodness of the Lord. I hope she will begin her own personal quiet time with God and begin to develop her own personal relationship so that both of us can fight together or the same cause and purpose. Building our testimony and our character together before the Lord would be amazing and change our lives forever. I do not believe Satan could stop us if we were praying for the same things as individuals in Christ and in marriage. I really feel that it would give us the opportunity to become more intimate with one another and become better friends than ever, and that is hard to fathom. So don't let me down girl! No pressure! lol I love you.
Prayer: Heavenly Father, please give Angela and I a sense of obligation to follow you and live for you as individuals. Bless our relationship with your divine presence and if it be your will Lord help us to become more intimate and unite us in body and spirit, so that we might bring glory to you and in marriage together before you be unstoppable and a perfect union for the body of Christ. Amen.
Random thoughts: Everyday I struggle with what to say, how to say it, and some days I probably do better than others at reaching my goal. You might ask what is that? I have a soft spot for parents and their children. Particularly those who are living like me, separated and isolated from the ones they love, causing insecurities in the lives of innocent children. I want to stop children from crying because they don't know the thoughts of mommy and daddy. For the rest of my life I will make it my desire to bring broken families and lonely children closer together. God willing, hopefully giving them hope and proving that anything is possible with Christ as the head of the household. I truly believe that if we pray, read the Bible, turn from sin daily, and surround ourselves with people doing the same, all the rest will work itself out for God's purpose.
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