Psalm 51:10-13, 1 Samuel 15, 2 Samuel 1
"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right Spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and uphold me with a willing spirit."
I was looking through the Psalms the other day and trying to find a scripture or two that I could use to memorize and use in prayer for myself and my family. This is one of the ones I chose. I might say "Create in Hunter, or Mia, or Faith a clean heart... and then finish with the prayer. I feel like incorporating scripture in my prayers gives them a bit of "kick"if you know what I mean. Anyway, in reading the Psalm I noticed that this was the Psalm David wrote when He was asking for forgiveness from the Lord because of his relationship with Bathsheba. So upon investigating David's life and this Psalm I notice that in 1 Samuel 15 that David had already seen what happened when God removed his spirit from King Saul, it was the start of his bitter downfall. This was caused because king Saul did not follow through with God's orders completely. In short, he was disobedient to the desire of God's heart. Savanah, that means he was doing it on his own! Has anybody ever thought they could manipulate the rules God has put on us? I have and this is the same deal.
Looking further into David's life, I see that King David in 2 Samuel slept with Bathsheba and arranged for her husband's death. Murder, adultery, and selfishness come to mind here. In reading this story, I gather that on the surface David's sins were much greater than King Saul's. So why would God take Saul's throne away and not David's? Because David was humble and broken about his sin. He admitted it and asked God for forgiveness. Saul was never willing to admit his sins, he continued in denial, because his pride got in the way.
What's the lesson here? That if we try to hide or deny our sins, we are in grave danger of God's punishment. But if we are sensitive to our sins and humbly seek God's forgiveness, there is hope for us, no matter how great our sins are. In doing this, God is able to remove the guilt we have on our conscious, which is the incubator for more sin, and restore our joy, enabling us to walk further with the Lord. Doing this is what keeps God's ears to our prayers, His eyes on our lives, and His will for our lives on the right track. So Savanah, if you cheat on your boyfriend and don't make it right with God and your boyfriend, if you carry that around with you, if you try to hide it and handle things on your terms, it's going to turn God's ear from your prayers, His grace from your life, and birth chaos into your life. It's what gives Satan the upper hand to destroy us! It's poison to our souls. That hiding is caused by pride and it's what I've been doing for a long time and it's why I have suffered so much negative consequences in my life today! Please don't make those same choices in your life kiddos, friends, and family.
Prayer: Our father who art in heaven, hallowed be they name. God, create in us a clean heart and renew in us a right spirit. Dear Lord, don't let us out of your sight and please don't take your Holy Spirit from us. Restore to us the joy of your salvation and uphold us with a willing spirit. Deliver us from our guilt O God of our salvation. Amen
Random thought: In this post alone I myself have learned two things that are very important to me. One we discussed, that God knows our heart and that we need to deal with the sins in our lives correctly to keep God's favor upon us but that in dealing with the sins of people who have hurt us or somehow wronged us we should be forgiving as well. That is what perfect love is all about. The parable in John 8:1-11)comes to mind. In that story, the scribes and pharisees brought an adulterating woman to Jesus and they wanted to stone her. Jesus said sure "those of you who are without sin, be the first to throw a stone." Needless to say, no stones were thrown and the woman was told "go and sin now more". Because of this story, I'm focused on cheating husbands and wives, boyfriends and girlfriends. I've been on both sides of the fence and think that on both sides it sucks. I can remember feeling guilt on one side and anger on another side. Feelings of hurt and disappointment on both sides as well. Today because I have God in my life I'd like to think that it would not be possible for me to go through with such a sin and likewise if a sin like that was committed against me I'd have to say that it would be my place to show a perfect love and give grace because I can't throw stones either.
In sharing these stories and my life with you guys I hope to create an honest account of my life experiences with you so 1) you can learn from my mistakes and 2) it will free me from carrying these burdens in my life. My heart is with fathers, addicts, kids who grow up in homes without a parent or with addicted parents and such. It has become my passion to tell my story in hopes that somewhere somehow somebody will use my experiences and maybe put a stop to the generational curses in our lives. I realize that some of these posts are more touching and personal to some than others and some may flat suck, but I believe God has put a call on my life to minister to dad's like me, people with addictions, afflictions and sin in their lives. I hope to show our teenage children that early on the smallest sins in our lives can create and be the start of something tragic in their years to come! I want to show my kids and my family that I love them and that I'm not as cool as I thought I was.
For the better part of my life I've been doing it on my own and it that has got me no where! So "if it ain't right don't do it." Please help me to get these posts to people who will use them, gain from them, and help me to feel like I've been able to give back and help some poor lost soul like me.
This page is meant to connect and encourage followers of Christ through my journals, devotions, and personal story. I believe we can have a great impact for Him and His kingdom by sharing our stories and struggles with each other and encouraging each other in our faith!
Friday, February 28, 2014
Thursday, February 27, 2014
Journal 2-6-14
Psalm 39
I read several Psalms yesterday and wrote them down. After my quiet time and doing my journals, sometimes I pray and thumb through the Bible and search for something to "speak to me". Proverbs and Psalms have been a recent favorite. This is how I come up with new material to share with my friends and family. Most of the time this is done between sets of push-ups or exercises that I am doing. God is slowly changing me and it feels great. Even on days when I'm down or get some bad news, he's right there with me. His words are comforting to me.
I've been working out with some guys in my cell daily and for the most part they are decent guys. I've not ever shared with them what I'm doing with my kids, the posts, and my life till yesterday. I had my Bible opened, my stuff out on the desk, and the book we went through. One asked me, he's a 21 year old heroin addict, "So, what does happen when husbands and wives pray together?" I told him I don't really know but I didn't pray much with mine and we are divorced. But the book says that they become closer to God, to each other, and become a strong team. For the rest of our exercise we talked about God. One of my other partners showed interest in logging in to our site so that his wife could read to their kids what we are doing! Wish I could see too. Thanks Zarria...
Anyway, one of my work out partners brought me this after lunch and I liked it so well I thought I'd share it with you! This came from a 21 year old heroin addict, my friend and exercise partner:
*Read Psalm 39
(1-7) At times we may become frustrated and explode in anger just as David did in this psalm. We should not be afraid to do this. If we feel alone and abandoned we should voice our feelings of anger and confusion. As we do this, we are admitting our helplessness. This is the first step in turning to God, through whom we can gain a true perspective on life. God is never threatened by our emotions. It is our apathy and pride that disturb him the most. (8-13) As we suffer God's punishment in our life, there is no point in trying to escape it. The only wise thing to do is beg for mercy. When God reproves us for our sins, we soon learn that everything we hold dear, our family and friends, even our lives are ultimately under his divine control. Rather than trying to rationalize our sins, we need to confess them. God is ready and willing to forgive anyone who comes to him with a humble heart.
So does that speak to you all the same way it does to me? I know as a little boy and young adult at times I felt angry and like I wanted to explode. I guess I did not because I didn't want to get into trouble or something. Later in life, I see that all that hidden emotion in my life was used as fuel to help Satan crush me. He made me "my worst enemy". Today I can see how these things in my life early on spread like a cancer through my body and corrupted my soul. I am humbled today. In prison and suffering God's punishment. I have always been a guy who "can get the job done" a "fix it" kind of guy "self-reliant", "Proud", one who "can do it all and do it well". Today God has me in a spot where I have no control over anyone or anything. All I have to rely on is prayer and that should probably build my faith. Funny thing is I'm so much of a control freak, although posts and writing is a healthy thing, it's still my way of controlling things and manipulating the way people think! My effort in fixing the world from inside a prison cell. Right now I feel embarrassed that I should thing "God needs my help"- I'm sure my prayer would be sufficient! lol God help me...
Prayer: Father, forgive me for being young, dumb, and proud. Forgive me for being a control freak and trying to fix the things you have under control. Truly, your will be done in our lives Lord. Thank you for reminding me that all I need to do is be faithful to you and you will handle the rest!
Random thought: I am learning to hear God and seeing His truth come to pass in my life. It's been about 140 days now since I've started this process and through daily prayer, Bible reading, turning from sin, and surrounding myself with people doing the same, I'm slowly getting what I need to be the husband and father God has called me to be. My two favorite words today are diligence and perseverance. Look them up! I love you Angela, Zarria, Nick, Savanah, Faith, Hunter, Mia - forever and a day.
I read several Psalms yesterday and wrote them down. After my quiet time and doing my journals, sometimes I pray and thumb through the Bible and search for something to "speak to me". Proverbs and Psalms have been a recent favorite. This is how I come up with new material to share with my friends and family. Most of the time this is done between sets of push-ups or exercises that I am doing. God is slowly changing me and it feels great. Even on days when I'm down or get some bad news, he's right there with me. His words are comforting to me.
I've been working out with some guys in my cell daily and for the most part they are decent guys. I've not ever shared with them what I'm doing with my kids, the posts, and my life till yesterday. I had my Bible opened, my stuff out on the desk, and the book we went through. One asked me, he's a 21 year old heroin addict, "So, what does happen when husbands and wives pray together?" I told him I don't really know but I didn't pray much with mine and we are divorced. But the book says that they become closer to God, to each other, and become a strong team. For the rest of our exercise we talked about God. One of my other partners showed interest in logging in to our site so that his wife could read to their kids what we are doing! Wish I could see too. Thanks Zarria...
Anyway, one of my work out partners brought me this after lunch and I liked it so well I thought I'd share it with you! This came from a 21 year old heroin addict, my friend and exercise partner:
*Read Psalm 39
(1-7) At times we may become frustrated and explode in anger just as David did in this psalm. We should not be afraid to do this. If we feel alone and abandoned we should voice our feelings of anger and confusion. As we do this, we are admitting our helplessness. This is the first step in turning to God, through whom we can gain a true perspective on life. God is never threatened by our emotions. It is our apathy and pride that disturb him the most. (8-13) As we suffer God's punishment in our life, there is no point in trying to escape it. The only wise thing to do is beg for mercy. When God reproves us for our sins, we soon learn that everything we hold dear, our family and friends, even our lives are ultimately under his divine control. Rather than trying to rationalize our sins, we need to confess them. God is ready and willing to forgive anyone who comes to him with a humble heart.
So does that speak to you all the same way it does to me? I know as a little boy and young adult at times I felt angry and like I wanted to explode. I guess I did not because I didn't want to get into trouble or something. Later in life, I see that all that hidden emotion in my life was used as fuel to help Satan crush me. He made me "my worst enemy". Today I can see how these things in my life early on spread like a cancer through my body and corrupted my soul. I am humbled today. In prison and suffering God's punishment. I have always been a guy who "can get the job done" a "fix it" kind of guy "self-reliant", "Proud", one who "can do it all and do it well". Today God has me in a spot where I have no control over anyone or anything. All I have to rely on is prayer and that should probably build my faith. Funny thing is I'm so much of a control freak, although posts and writing is a healthy thing, it's still my way of controlling things and manipulating the way people think! My effort in fixing the world from inside a prison cell. Right now I feel embarrassed that I should thing "God needs my help"- I'm sure my prayer would be sufficient! lol God help me...
Prayer: Father, forgive me for being young, dumb, and proud. Forgive me for being a control freak and trying to fix the things you have under control. Truly, your will be done in our lives Lord. Thank you for reminding me that all I need to do is be faithful to you and you will handle the rest!
Random thought: I am learning to hear God and seeing His truth come to pass in my life. It's been about 140 days now since I've started this process and through daily prayer, Bible reading, turning from sin, and surrounding myself with people doing the same, I'm slowly getting what I need to be the husband and father God has called me to be. My two favorite words today are diligence and perseverance. Look them up! I love you Angela, Zarria, Nick, Savanah, Faith, Hunter, Mia - forever and a day.
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Prayer Requests
- Please continue to pray for Pat's health in Nevada Missouri. Pray her health increases and she is released from the hospital. She has blood clots and internal bleeding.
- Pray for Melissa and her kids in Pennsylvania. They are still separated due to legal trouble right now and she wants reconciliation with the kids.
- Pray for Diane in St. Joseph Missouri. She is 49 and suffers from terminal lung cancer. Her son Don is in prison with me and is struggling greatly with his mothers illness. Don has a couple months left to serve and prays that his mother will make it long enough for him to see her when he gets out.
- Pray for my mom, Debbie. She had surgery a while back on her shoulder and is doing therapy now to regain use of her right hand.
- I pray that my posts reach the people that God wants me to reach and that we increase in followers daily.
Journal 2-5-14 - Being doers of the word
James 1:22-25 "But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in the mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing."
Well, this morning I have been trying to find something for my kids to think about that I have struggled with on many occasions in my life. I think the first sentence pretty much sums it up. "Be doers of the word and not hearers only..." Faith, what does that mean? Well, you've all heard me say, "Read, pray, turn from sin, and surround yourself with people doing the same." This actually incorporates the turn from sin part. If you all are reading these posts and praying daily that is good and that is what I want for you to do, but do you hear them and are you trying to work on the things in your life that you struggle with? Maybe cheating on a test? Copying someone's homework? Telling a lie, or cutting in line at lunch? If you are trying to be doers of the word, we are learning together, then you will start to notice those things and do what's right and not continue to do what is wrong. This does not mean that you won't struggle or will always get it right, but when you catch yourself looking at your neighbors answers on a test, ask your teacher to move you or position yourself so that you won't be tempted. that would be an example of "turning from sin" and being a doer of the word.
I know that everyone will always struggle with these things in their life, but the more you pray, read the Bible, turn from sin and hang out with people doing the same the easier it will be.
Prayer: Heavenly Father, help us all to be doers of the word. Help us to turn from sin and try to incorporate in our lives what we learn with our prayer and studying every day, so that we too will be a doer who acts and we might be blessed for that. Amen.
Random thought: Many times in my life I have been guilty of knowing what is right but not making the choice to do the right thing. Either because of pressure, comfort, or selfishness sometimes doing wrong just feels better at the time but it will birth chaos and pain into your life in the long run. It simply is not a good investment of your time! Look where I am today! Prison. My bad choices caught up with me and yours will too.
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Journal 2-4-14
Ch. 12 Praying together - Guardian of Intimacy
Matthew 19:4-5, Amos 3:3, Ephesians 5:22-33
In reading and writing this chapter and these verses I am thinking that one reason I like to write is to build accountability to my friends, family, and children. I want to spill my guts and become more real with you all. I guess you could say that that alone would build intimacy, a closeness together by posting my real feelings and making myself vulnerable. It gives me a release of conviction, the opportunity at forgiveness and growth. So I guess as much as I'm doing these things for my kids and Angela, I'm doing them for myself as well. I want people to expect me to live a better and more pleasing life to God when I get out than I once did. For me this gives Satan less of a chance to sneak in and squash the good work that has started. I'm sure he's working on a plan right now. So for protection, I hope these posts make it to 1000's. The more it reaches the safer I will be. Weird, huh.
One thing I've learned in 42 years of my life is that in any relationship you have with a woman being honest, transparent, being real will help you to become better friends. It says that in the Bible two should become one flesh in a marriage and that we should also live our lives as individuals with Christ that way. I don't know if I should go where I am about to go with Angela or not, but I'm going to make a stab and see what happens. From the start Angela and I have been close and very quickly we became best friends. Now I know that we both have made mistakes with one another but we have somehow fallen in love and I feel closer to her as one flesh than I ever have with anybody. She knows everything and I mean everything about me! Things my parents, children, and family do not know! I know that our relationship however close and wonderful it has been started unhealthy in the eyes of God. But I also believe that He introduced us because of our potential and our compatibility together.
Right now Angela is struggling with life and my being gone and I know that she is concerned that my new found faith will create and uncomfortable awkwardness between us that we have never had. As much as we love each other, I hope and pray that I will be able to rub off a little goodness of the Lord. I hope she will begin her own personal quiet time with God and begin to develop her own personal relationship so that both of us can fight together or the same cause and purpose. Building our testimony and our character together before the Lord would be amazing and change our lives forever. I do not believe Satan could stop us if we were praying for the same things as individuals in Christ and in marriage. I really feel that it would give us the opportunity to become more intimate with one another and become better friends than ever, and that is hard to fathom. So don't let me down girl! No pressure! lol I love you.
Prayer: Heavenly Father, please give Angela and I a sense of obligation to follow you and live for you as individuals. Bless our relationship with your divine presence and if it be your will Lord help us to become more intimate and unite us in body and spirit, so that we might bring glory to you and in marriage together before you be unstoppable and a perfect union for the body of Christ. Amen.
Random thoughts: Everyday I struggle with what to say, how to say it, and some days I probably do better than others at reaching my goal. You might ask what is that? I have a soft spot for parents and their children. Particularly those who are living like me, separated and isolated from the ones they love, causing insecurities in the lives of innocent children. I want to stop children from crying because they don't know the thoughts of mommy and daddy. For the rest of my life I will make it my desire to bring broken families and lonely children closer together. God willing, hopefully giving them hope and proving that anything is possible with Christ as the head of the household. I truly believe that if we pray, read the Bible, turn from sin daily, and surround ourselves with people doing the same, all the rest will work itself out for God's purpose.
Matthew 19:4-5, Amos 3:3, Ephesians 5:22-33
In reading and writing this chapter and these verses I am thinking that one reason I like to write is to build accountability to my friends, family, and children. I want to spill my guts and become more real with you all. I guess you could say that that alone would build intimacy, a closeness together by posting my real feelings and making myself vulnerable. It gives me a release of conviction, the opportunity at forgiveness and growth. So I guess as much as I'm doing these things for my kids and Angela, I'm doing them for myself as well. I want people to expect me to live a better and more pleasing life to God when I get out than I once did. For me this gives Satan less of a chance to sneak in and squash the good work that has started. I'm sure he's working on a plan right now. So for protection, I hope these posts make it to 1000's. The more it reaches the safer I will be. Weird, huh.
One thing I've learned in 42 years of my life is that in any relationship you have with a woman being honest, transparent, being real will help you to become better friends. It says that in the Bible two should become one flesh in a marriage and that we should also live our lives as individuals with Christ that way. I don't know if I should go where I am about to go with Angela or not, but I'm going to make a stab and see what happens. From the start Angela and I have been close and very quickly we became best friends. Now I know that we both have made mistakes with one another but we have somehow fallen in love and I feel closer to her as one flesh than I ever have with anybody. She knows everything and I mean everything about me! Things my parents, children, and family do not know! I know that our relationship however close and wonderful it has been started unhealthy in the eyes of God. But I also believe that He introduced us because of our potential and our compatibility together.
Right now Angela is struggling with life and my being gone and I know that she is concerned that my new found faith will create and uncomfortable awkwardness between us that we have never had. As much as we love each other, I hope and pray that I will be able to rub off a little goodness of the Lord. I hope she will begin her own personal quiet time with God and begin to develop her own personal relationship so that both of us can fight together or the same cause and purpose. Building our testimony and our character together before the Lord would be amazing and change our lives forever. I do not believe Satan could stop us if we were praying for the same things as individuals in Christ and in marriage. I really feel that it would give us the opportunity to become more intimate with one another and become better friends than ever, and that is hard to fathom. So don't let me down girl! No pressure! lol I love you.
Prayer: Heavenly Father, please give Angela and I a sense of obligation to follow you and live for you as individuals. Bless our relationship with your divine presence and if it be your will Lord help us to become more intimate and unite us in body and spirit, so that we might bring glory to you and in marriage together before you be unstoppable and a perfect union for the body of Christ. Amen.
Random thoughts: Everyday I struggle with what to say, how to say it, and some days I probably do better than others at reaching my goal. You might ask what is that? I have a soft spot for parents and their children. Particularly those who are living like me, separated and isolated from the ones they love, causing insecurities in the lives of innocent children. I want to stop children from crying because they don't know the thoughts of mommy and daddy. For the rest of my life I will make it my desire to bring broken families and lonely children closer together. God willing, hopefully giving them hope and proving that anything is possible with Christ as the head of the household. I truly believe that if we pray, read the Bible, turn from sin daily, and surround ourselves with people doing the same, all the rest will work itself out for God's purpose.
Monday, February 24, 2014
Journal 2-3-14 (cont.) - Praising the Father
Ch. 11 And Don't Forget to Praise Him
1 Peter 2:9, Matthew 7:7, Psalm 29:2, Hebrews 13:15, Romans 15:4, 2 Chronicles 20:20,
Psalm 148:1-2, 7-13
Keeping it real! Praise... Sometimes I sit here and try to feel the words that I write and although I may not be a good writer I hope that you also can feel the emotion I have when you read what I write. Most times it's my emotion that sparks my writing. I want to let the people reading (mostly my friends, family, and positively my kids) see into my heart. It's like my confession chamber. It's a place I can let go and be real with out anybody looking.
I suppose there are many different ways we praise God. Most of my life I've thought praise was singing in church but today I see it as about anything that brings glory to Him. I'll have to admit that some forms of praise feel phony to me still and I guess they shouldn't. I don't have a problem singing at church with music and everyone else, but if I was at home and someone asked me to sing with them in the living room it would feel weird. I wonder why. Sometimes I even struggle with raising my hands in church as praise lol even when I'm the only one not doing it! Anybody ever feel that way? Oh well, there's lots of things like that that make me feel weird. I guess because I've not given them a chance to become comfortable yet.
In reading these Scriptures and praying, I want my kids to know that I think praise is everything we do that would be pleasing to God. If we claim Christ as our Lord and Savior and proclaim to live a Christian lifestyle, then all our efforts should be able to be considered praise! Grades, winning a race or a football game, getting up everyday to pray, being happy, etc. We should be able to praise God in all things. I hope that I don't make a mistake and compromise my praise with the Lord. Today I feel like my reading, prayer, speech, the way I carry myself, and what I am doing are all forms of praise. And hopefully as I continue to grow in the Lord the things that make me feel funny will get a little easier. Like singing or shouting "Thank you Jesus". I'll have to admit sometimes I sing in my head and it doesn't sound too bad that way. If you catch me in church humming to myself you'll know we are making progress!
Random Thought: Although I screw up everyday, I feel like my overall daily existence is a form of praise today and every passing day my praising Him hopefully becomes a little bit more appealing to God.
Prayer: Lord, thank you for this opportunity in my life to praise you and I just ask you to help me in the areas where I am weak so I can further continue to brighten your day. Amen.
Saturday, February 22, 2014
Journal 2-3-14 - Getting answers from God
Promises-How to get answers from God
Jeremiah 33:3, 2 Peter 1:4, 1 Kings 2:56, Psalm 119:140, Jeremiah 29:11, Matthew 17:20, Isaiah 43:18-19, Job 36:15-16, Isaiah 30:26, Psalm 37:4-5, Isaiah 41:10, 2 Chronicles 16:9, Matthew 10:34-37, Acts 16:31, Philippians 1:6, Psalm 32:8, Zephaniah 3:13
"Standing on the promises that cannot fail, when the howling storms of doubt and fear assail, by the living word of God I shall prevail, standing on the promises of God."
Jeremiah 33:3, 2 Peter 1:4, 1 Kings 2:56, Psalm 119:140, Jeremiah 29:11, Matthew 17:20, Isaiah 43:18-19, Job 36:15-16, Isaiah 30:26, Psalm 37:4-5, Isaiah 41:10, 2 Chronicles 16:9, Matthew 10:34-37, Acts 16:31, Philippians 1:6, Psalm 32:8, Zephaniah 3:13
"Standing on the promises that cannot fail, when the howling storms of doubt and fear assail, by the living word of God I shall prevail, standing on the promises of God."
- I know I'm praying in line with God's will when I find a promise in the Bible and pray it into my life. I also know it will be answered.
- I Pray Psalm 90 into my life "establish the work of our hands". I get confirmation that this will come true in my life through 1 Kings 8:56 "...Not one word has failed of all the good promises He gave..."
- I can see Isaiah 43:18-19 taking place in my life right now. I am relieved when I read Job 36:15-16 and how great it will be when Isaiah 30:26 takes place in my life, our life, and in the lives of those I love. And so because of Psalm 37:4-5 I believe that what I am doing will come to pass and have a lasting effect on Me, Angela, Mia, Zarria, Nick, Savanah, Faith, and Hunter. I am encouraged to press on when I read Isaiah 41:10 "Don't fear, for I am with you...surely I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
- 2 Chronicles 16:9 tells me that God is watching. "For the eyes of the Lord range through out the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him."
- It is so good to hear the Lord tell me "Cody, I will make a way in the wilderness" (Isaiah 43:19)
NOTE: I have no rhyme or reason as to why some things speak to me and some don't. I guess because God speaks to me in His time. I am learning how to listen to God through prayer and meditation. God may not reveal to you the same things He does to me because everyone is different and God has a plan for me that may be different than yours. I'm sure that if you actually open your Bible, read the scriptures I've written down, pray over them, and meditate on them that God will reveal to you what He has in store for you as He has done for me. I am confident that if you make a consistent to know God daily that He will be faithful to speak to you and show you things He has in store for you! What am I saying? This daily study is not designed to help you know what God wants for me. I'm doing it to help you all see what God has for you! If all you do is read about me, well then you'll know what God is doing for me. But if you open that book daily, pray, turn from sin, and surround yourself with people doing the same (a good place for that is church), then I'm sure God will begin sharing with you things about you just as He has done with me and then you can share those things with me. It takes some effort and sacrifice but it's rewarding and the "promises"-who really wants to miss out on those?! Wouldn't we feel stupid when we got to heaven and God showed us all He had planned for us? And we asked why didn't you give that to me? And He said because you never made an effort. You were too busy working, partying, or clicking around on the computer to figure out who I am, what I wanted and how to get it! I think by investing just 20 minutes a day we can get what it is God has for us and save us a lifetime of being stupid..just saying.
Friday, February 21, 2014
Journal 2-2-14 - God's Promises
"Standing on the promises that cannot fail, when the howling storms of doubt and fear assail, by the living word of God I shall prevail, standing on the promises of God" John Newton (1725-1807)
So there are 17 verses that I have extracted from this book in ch. 10 "The Promises" that speak to me and I have included my notes which you can read tomorrow and look up all the verses. Today I am going to write all the verses down to you in my story and make it easy for you because I don't want anybody to miss anything. It's like they were speaking to me. It's kind of lengthy, but please take the 30 minutes to read it and tomorrow you can read through the verses listed and look at my notes to see if God speaks to you. This is one great chapter!
First of all lets remember that when I am reading through the bible and stumble across a promise and pray that into my life that I am praying in line with God's will and when I do that I can be certain that it will be answered. Anybody ever ask the question "God, what is your will for my life?" Well I have, and I'm pretty sure I never got a real answer until I read chapter 10 of this book What Happens When Husbands and Wives Pray Together and slowed down to study the verses (every verse) that I came across. If you have been looking up each verse with me, that I give you, you have received only half of what I have, so go get the book and read it!
So for weeks now I'm praying about these postings and hoping God will bless them. "Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands upon us; yes, establish the work of our hands" (Psalm 90:17). In reading these scriptures, I start seeing God speak to me through them. Next what jumps off the page is 1 Kings 8:56 "Blessed be the Lord who has given rest to His people Israel, according to all hat He promised. Not one word has failed of all his good promises, which he spoke by Moses His servant." What does this tell me? That, I'm cool, I have nothing to worry about because I'm serving God today and the promises will be coming my way. here God goes again talking to me He says "Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth. Do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert" (Isaiah 43:18-19). Yes, God, I see it, I say and thank you because the wilderness and the desert are kicking my butt. I can't wait to have it all behind me and as soon as I come across that ole river I'm jumping in! I'm thirsty, sunburned, and can't wait to get out of the heat!
Next I come across Job 36:15-16 "He delivers the afflicted by their affliction and opens their ear by adversity. He also allured you out of distress into a broad place where there was no cramping, and what was set on your table was full of fatness! Now anybody who knows me will know that I have been afflicted and had plenty of adversity in my life. And I know that this is super crazy because God had Job write this for me in 2014 all the way back in "A long time ago" just so he could pull me out of this "distress" (jail, addiction, and life of sin) into a nice broad comfortable spot in my life where my table was full of fatness. "Full of Fatness"- first of all, let me say that when I do meth I don't eat and there is no fatness, only bones! Everyone knows I love to eat and a few people know that when I order or cook steak I want the fatty piece because that's where all the good stuff is!! So what does that tell me today in my life? That God is pulling me out of the hell I have placed myself in and is serving me up a nice fatty steak in the comfort of a nice big spot!...hopefully on the bank of that river in the desert-wilderness He has created! lol
Now after reading all this cool stuff about my life that was written way back yonder, He tells me this "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust in Him and He will act" (Psalm 37: 4-5). So I'm sure you're asking "what are the desires of your heart?" Well, just hold on because I'm going to tell you! The desires of my heart are to raise children who are saved and living for Jesus, to get out of trouble, to get Angela on board with me with all of this and stay sober, to get married and start my life over, living right in the eyes of God. To spoil my grand-kids rotten and teach them about God, the outdoors, and how to live right! Those are the desires of my heart, to minister to all my family and friends through my experiences.
After having said all that God gives me a little encouragement in Isaiah 41:10 when He says "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, and I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Speaks for itself doesn't it? "Don't worry," He says, "I got you." To some of those younger cats it says "Don't worry little homie, I am the man, I get you, quit trippin." So reading further I see in 1 Chronicles 16:9 that God says "For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to give strong support to those whose heart is blameless." So what does that speak to me? That God sees what I'm doing and knows my heart and that I can count on Him to work all this stuff out in my life with prison, drugs, Angela, my kids, my job, everything. He says to me, "Keep up the good work little buddy."
In summary, I can cap it off with Isaiah 43:19 "Cody I will make a way for you in the wilderness." Does anybody else feel trapped in the wilderness? If so, check out what God is doing for me and my family. Send these posts to people who might need "A tall cool drink on a hot summer day." These words have given me hope and encouragement in my seemingly hopeless life today and I hope and pray that they do for you as well!
Prayer: Dear Lord, Thank you for delivering me and mine from the wilderness and giving us something to look forward to. Thank you Jesus for everything you've done for me and help me to give back a little where you see fit. Your will be done in all our lives Lord. Amen.
Thoughts: I'm lonely and homesick today for the comforts of home. To hear my kids laugh and play and to lay in bed with Angela and hold her close. I am worried about people and the choices they make. I'm not there to help them. All I have is prayer and these posts. There I go wanting to "fix everything." I have to remember to trust in the Lord. He will work it out!
*Today is Sunday and I'm going to start writing you a letter and working on the barbecue and party favors for the big super bowl party I'm having! lol I've been up all morning, for about 2 hours now meditating on Isaiah 43: 18-19. I hope all you guys know I love and miss you! Have a good day! Check out all the cool stuff Zarria is helping me with so that I can make a difference in my kids life one day at a time! Love you kids! Love you Angela. I got the sea hawks today!
Prayer: Dear Lord thank you for such an awesome family. Thank you for good fortune and thank you for all you do for us today! And by the way, could you give the sea hawks a little advantage too, I have 2 stamped envelopes riding on them! Amen
So there are 17 verses that I have extracted from this book in ch. 10 "The Promises" that speak to me and I have included my notes which you can read tomorrow and look up all the verses. Today I am going to write all the verses down to you in my story and make it easy for you because I don't want anybody to miss anything. It's like they were speaking to me. It's kind of lengthy, but please take the 30 minutes to read it and tomorrow you can read through the verses listed and look at my notes to see if God speaks to you. This is one great chapter!
First of all lets remember that when I am reading through the bible and stumble across a promise and pray that into my life that I am praying in line with God's will and when I do that I can be certain that it will be answered. Anybody ever ask the question "God, what is your will for my life?" Well I have, and I'm pretty sure I never got a real answer until I read chapter 10 of this book What Happens When Husbands and Wives Pray Together and slowed down to study the verses (every verse) that I came across. If you have been looking up each verse with me, that I give you, you have received only half of what I have, so go get the book and read it!
So for weeks now I'm praying about these postings and hoping God will bless them. "Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands upon us; yes, establish the work of our hands" (Psalm 90:17). In reading these scriptures, I start seeing God speak to me through them. Next what jumps off the page is 1 Kings 8:56 "Blessed be the Lord who has given rest to His people Israel, according to all hat He promised. Not one word has failed of all his good promises, which he spoke by Moses His servant." What does this tell me? That, I'm cool, I have nothing to worry about because I'm serving God today and the promises will be coming my way. here God goes again talking to me He says "Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth. Do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert" (Isaiah 43:18-19). Yes, God, I see it, I say and thank you because the wilderness and the desert are kicking my butt. I can't wait to have it all behind me and as soon as I come across that ole river I'm jumping in! I'm thirsty, sunburned, and can't wait to get out of the heat!
Next I come across Job 36:15-16 "He delivers the afflicted by their affliction and opens their ear by adversity. He also allured you out of distress into a broad place where there was no cramping, and what was set on your table was full of fatness! Now anybody who knows me will know that I have been afflicted and had plenty of adversity in my life. And I know that this is super crazy because God had Job write this for me in 2014 all the way back in "A long time ago" just so he could pull me out of this "distress" (jail, addiction, and life of sin) into a nice broad comfortable spot in my life where my table was full of fatness. "Full of Fatness"- first of all, let me say that when I do meth I don't eat and there is no fatness, only bones! Everyone knows I love to eat and a few people know that when I order or cook steak I want the fatty piece because that's where all the good stuff is!! So what does that tell me today in my life? That God is pulling me out of the hell I have placed myself in and is serving me up a nice fatty steak in the comfort of a nice big spot!...hopefully on the bank of that river in the desert-wilderness He has created! lol
Now after reading all this cool stuff about my life that was written way back yonder, He tells me this "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust in Him and He will act" (Psalm 37: 4-5). So I'm sure you're asking "what are the desires of your heart?" Well, just hold on because I'm going to tell you! The desires of my heart are to raise children who are saved and living for Jesus, to get out of trouble, to get Angela on board with me with all of this and stay sober, to get married and start my life over, living right in the eyes of God. To spoil my grand-kids rotten and teach them about God, the outdoors, and how to live right! Those are the desires of my heart, to minister to all my family and friends through my experiences.
After having said all that God gives me a little encouragement in Isaiah 41:10 when He says "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, and I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Speaks for itself doesn't it? "Don't worry," He says, "I got you." To some of those younger cats it says "Don't worry little homie, I am the man, I get you, quit trippin." So reading further I see in 1 Chronicles 16:9 that God says "For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to give strong support to those whose heart is blameless." So what does that speak to me? That God sees what I'm doing and knows my heart and that I can count on Him to work all this stuff out in my life with prison, drugs, Angela, my kids, my job, everything. He says to me, "Keep up the good work little buddy."
In summary, I can cap it off with Isaiah 43:19 "Cody I will make a way for you in the wilderness." Does anybody else feel trapped in the wilderness? If so, check out what God is doing for me and my family. Send these posts to people who might need "A tall cool drink on a hot summer day." These words have given me hope and encouragement in my seemingly hopeless life today and I hope and pray that they do for you as well!
Prayer: Dear Lord, Thank you for delivering me and mine from the wilderness and giving us something to look forward to. Thank you Jesus for everything you've done for me and help me to give back a little where you see fit. Your will be done in all our lives Lord. Amen.
Thoughts: I'm lonely and homesick today for the comforts of home. To hear my kids laugh and play and to lay in bed with Angela and hold her close. I am worried about people and the choices they make. I'm not there to help them. All I have is prayer and these posts. There I go wanting to "fix everything." I have to remember to trust in the Lord. He will work it out!
*Today is Sunday and I'm going to start writing you a letter and working on the barbecue and party favors for the big super bowl party I'm having! lol I've been up all morning, for about 2 hours now meditating on Isaiah 43: 18-19. I hope all you guys know I love and miss you! Have a good day! Check out all the cool stuff Zarria is helping me with so that I can make a difference in my kids life one day at a time! Love you kids! Love you Angela. I got the sea hawks today!
Prayer: Dear Lord thank you for such an awesome family. Thank you for good fortune and thank you for all you do for us today! And by the way, could you give the sea hawks a little advantage too, I have 2 stamped envelopes riding on them! Amen
Thursday, February 20, 2014
Journal 2-1-14 - Preparing for Battle
Ezekiel 22:30, Matthew 11:28-30, Ephesians 6:10-20, Matthew 26:41, John 10:10, Isaiah 40:30-31
These were verses I took out of Ch.9 and I think they are amazing and God really speaks to me through them. John 10:10- "The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy..." How do we let the thief into our lives? By turning from God, not putting Him first, sin, and not taking up His yoke (Matthew 11:28-30). I think that verse offers peace to those of us who don't have it! How many times have I thought that I was doing good in my life but was doing it on my own? Eventually letting stress, pressure, and sin back into my life through dope, sex, or some type of "idol worship", money, material goods, etc. During these times I think I thought I was in-tune with God but I was fooling myself. I was really setting my self up for disaster. I really believe if you're not reading, praying, turning from sin daily, and surrounding yourself with people doing the same, you too are fooling yourself and all the seemingly good stuff you're pulling off by yourself today will come crumbling down on your head tomorrow.
What I just said sounds like this to me (Matthew 26:41) - "Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The Spirit is willing but the flesh is weak." How many times that has proven true in my life. What about you guys? Does God look at us the way He looked at people in Ezekiel 22:30? Would He be pleased with us or when He looks at us and reviews our hearts would He want to destroy the land?! Let me ask you guys something, how many of you just try every day to be good or do right. go to work, come home, clean, cook, and just live lives that seem decent and because of that you feel you're o.k. in God's eyes? I have for years, and I think that's a trick that Satan plays on us. It's his way of deceiving us with healthy things, like tricking you into catching cancer from eating too much fruit which is good for you.
I believe to do battle everyday we need to put God first. Read His word, pray, and prepare daily for the big bomb Satan has waiting for us to step in. Read, Pray, turn from sin, and surround yourself with an army doing the same = prepared for battle.
Prayer: Father God, we recognize that sin in our lives will be present always and that it gives Satan the upper hand in our lives. Father we know that our flesh is weak and without you in our lives we will fail in whatever we try to do. Help us Lord God to put you first in our lives daily so that we will be prepared to do battle daily with the one who comes to steal, kill, and destroy.
Thoughts: Just because I'm doing good by the standards of the world does not mean I'm prepared for battle with Satan. Now read Ephesians 6: 10-20.
Prayer Requests:
* Melissa in Pennsylvania who has lost her children to the state for temporary placement while her husband awaits trail for child-molesting. She wants justice served and the state to give her children back to her quickly.
*Pat in Nevada Missouri who is suffering poor health and internal bleeding in the hospital. She is my cellies step mother and a woman of God.
*My ex-wife Tricia, as she has some present health concerns going on.
*Angela and Mia that they will find security in Northwest Arkansas until I get out and we can re-unite.
These were verses I took out of Ch.9 and I think they are amazing and God really speaks to me through them. John 10:10- "The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy..." How do we let the thief into our lives? By turning from God, not putting Him first, sin, and not taking up His yoke (Matthew 11:28-30). I think that verse offers peace to those of us who don't have it! How many times have I thought that I was doing good in my life but was doing it on my own? Eventually letting stress, pressure, and sin back into my life through dope, sex, or some type of "idol worship", money, material goods, etc. During these times I think I thought I was in-tune with God but I was fooling myself. I was really setting my self up for disaster. I really believe if you're not reading, praying, turning from sin daily, and surrounding yourself with people doing the same, you too are fooling yourself and all the seemingly good stuff you're pulling off by yourself today will come crumbling down on your head tomorrow.
What I just said sounds like this to me (Matthew 26:41) - "Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The Spirit is willing but the flesh is weak." How many times that has proven true in my life. What about you guys? Does God look at us the way He looked at people in Ezekiel 22:30? Would He be pleased with us or when He looks at us and reviews our hearts would He want to destroy the land?! Let me ask you guys something, how many of you just try every day to be good or do right. go to work, come home, clean, cook, and just live lives that seem decent and because of that you feel you're o.k. in God's eyes? I have for years, and I think that's a trick that Satan plays on us. It's his way of deceiving us with healthy things, like tricking you into catching cancer from eating too much fruit which is good for you.
I believe to do battle everyday we need to put God first. Read His word, pray, and prepare daily for the big bomb Satan has waiting for us to step in. Read, Pray, turn from sin, and surround yourself with an army doing the same = prepared for battle.
Prayer: Father God, we recognize that sin in our lives will be present always and that it gives Satan the upper hand in our lives. Father we know that our flesh is weak and without you in our lives we will fail in whatever we try to do. Help us Lord God to put you first in our lives daily so that we will be prepared to do battle daily with the one who comes to steal, kill, and destroy.
Thoughts: Just because I'm doing good by the standards of the world does not mean I'm prepared for battle with Satan. Now read Ephesians 6: 10-20.
Prayer Requests:
* Melissa in Pennsylvania who has lost her children to the state for temporary placement while her husband awaits trail for child-molesting. She wants justice served and the state to give her children back to her quickly.
*Pat in Nevada Missouri who is suffering poor health and internal bleeding in the hospital. She is my cellies step mother and a woman of God.
*My ex-wife Tricia, as she has some present health concerns going on.
*Angela and Mia that they will find security in Northwest Arkansas until I get out and we can re-unite.
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
Helping each other and those in need
So, I'm not sure if everyone enjoys reading my thoughts but I enjoy writing them. It's more personal to me and real that way. I hope that they will be posted and my children, friends, and Angela, will see me as someone who struggles daily. It just occurred to me that because I'm doing this stuff and making it public people might expect me to be "perfect" or close! Quite the contrary. I struggle everyday and pray a lot. I want to do right in my life! I want my kids to learn from my mistakes and for us together to figure out who God is, what He wants, and how we can all get to that point. I want us to be accountable to one another and help one another along this journey with Him. We will all fall short and make mistakes but if we are all together and fighting the same fight when one of us does screw up, maybe we can have the tools handy to make our recovery a little less painful. I love you guys and hope that we are doing this together and learning together. Kind of like we are all sitting in math class together studying algebra! At 42 I should be way ahead of you guys but I'm right there with you! Sitting right up front trying to do the best I can.
I want to personally thank every one who is involved in my life. There has been money sent, prayers prayed, tears cried, and lots of things. Thank you all for loving me and everything you've done. I hope people are interested in what I'm doing, what we are doing together. I only want for God's people to get whatever it is they need so that God can get us all right where He needs us! My salvation, my family's salvation, and the salvation of all my friends have suddenly become more important to me than anything else. To all the folks in my life who have prayed for me, made efforts to pull my head out of my butt, sent money, opened your home to me, rescued me, etc. Thank you. I love you and I hope that together we can make a difference in the life of any person anywhere that needs it. My heart is kind of soft on dads, kids, families who grow up broken, addicted, and lonely like I did. I hope people can stop the brokenness in their families and their futures. Maybe if we send some of these posts to all our friends, families, co-workers, or who ever, someone who needs to hear them will be encouraged by them and step up to the plate with this lonely, addicted father to stop the brokenness in his or her family. I hope you are praying with me for that very thing to take place in our lives!
I want to personally thank every one who is involved in my life. There has been money sent, prayers prayed, tears cried, and lots of things. Thank you all for loving me and everything you've done. I hope people are interested in what I'm doing, what we are doing together. I only want for God's people to get whatever it is they need so that God can get us all right where He needs us! My salvation, my family's salvation, and the salvation of all my friends have suddenly become more important to me than anything else. To all the folks in my life who have prayed for me, made efforts to pull my head out of my butt, sent money, opened your home to me, rescued me, etc. Thank you. I love you and I hope that together we can make a difference in the life of any person anywhere that needs it. My heart is kind of soft on dads, kids, families who grow up broken, addicted, and lonely like I did. I hope people can stop the brokenness in their families and their futures. Maybe if we send some of these posts to all our friends, families, co-workers, or who ever, someone who needs to hear them will be encouraged by them and step up to the plate with this lonely, addicted father to stop the brokenness in his or her family. I hope you are praying with me for that very thing to take place in our lives!
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Journal 1-31-14
Today we are reviewing ch. 8 "Take with you words": models for our prayer life.
Hosea 14:2- "Take with you words and return to the Lord." Now if I recall this was the chapter that I enjoyed most when reading this book. We may break it up into two lessons I don't know yet, but either way lets get started and see what happens. I expect for everyone to look up all the verses I insert and take your time to ponder them all. Ok...
Hosea 14:2- "Take with you words and return to the Lord." Now if I recall this was the chapter that I enjoyed most when reading this book. We may break it up into two lessons I don't know yet, but either way lets get started and see what happens. I expect for everyone to look up all the verses I insert and take your time to ponder them all. Ok...
- In opening Hosea 14:2 tells me that when we pray if we can utilize and quote scripture in that time we have with the Lord that it makes it more powerful. So Savanah, that means we need to try and memorize some scriptures and keep them with us always. But little one who thinks their prayers are clumsy, don't fret because God doesn't care what it sounds like. He looks into our hearts.
- James 4:2-3 God help us to pray unselfishly
- Matthew 6:9-13 I pray this prayer maybe 10 times daily
- Psalms 95:6-7, Psalm 103:1-5, 1 Chronicles 29:10-13, Revelation 4:11, Revelation 7:10,12, Psalm 51:1-4, 10-12, Psalm 136:1-3, 1 Corinthians 15:57, 1 Samuel 3:10, Mark 14:36
So right now I'm using these chapters to build my daily study. I use them for my own personal quiet time as well and when I'm done reading all the scriptures I've suggested that you read I write my thoughts and pray. Now, I don't know what you guys are doing but that seems to work for me at the moment. I've already read the book and think you all should as well. It's a very good book. Again, What Happens When Husbands and Wives Pray Together by Carey Moore, Pam Moore and featured by Ruth Graham.
So in reading this chapter, I get these scriptures that I need to learn to pray. Most of these scriptures give examples of prayer. Some I like more than but all are good. What will be the best way for me to learn to pray? Just like anything else- practice, practice, practice! Right Hunter! I know that in my life anything I've ever done a lot of and taken an interest in I got better at! Does that mean that my prayer life and my quiet time and my discipline can not afford any mistake for God to hear me? Not at all. He just wants me to make an honest effort and try. I'm sure He will hear my heart no matter what my words sound like.
Prayer: Dear Heavenly Father, help us to be faithful to your will for our lives. Help us to learn to pray for the things we need to be praying for and teach us how you want us to do that! In the meantime, remind us that if we screw up and pray like babies that it's o.k. and you got our backs because you know our hearts. Amen.
My thoughts: I'm going to create a weekly prayer list praying for different things and different people, mostly because my prayers consist of things I want like family, friends, jobs, money, getting out of here and God given strength to put up with some of the conditions I'm surrounded with. I have been faithful to my 9:00 pm prayer time with Angela my prayer partner, except one night I was late. I hope you guys are doing the same with Angela and I, or with another partner somewhere. I think sometimes that I like to "fix stuff" but probably the best preventative maintenance I could do is to have a "disciplined regular prayer life."
Monday, February 17, 2014
Journal 1-30-14
Ok, today is still the 29th for me but I don't think anybody will mind if I jump ahead a day and begin preparing for that do you?
*Structure for Daily Prayer Together
*Structure for Daily Prayer Together
- 1 Timothy 2:1-2 - I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession, and thanksgiving be made for everyone- for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness.
- Pray for the world wide Christian church weekly
- God looks at our heart in prayer not our technique
- Prayer should not always be spontaneous, otherwise selfishness may take over. "So I need to make a list"
- Remember to use "Acts" in prayer: Adoration (praise), Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication (bringing requests to God, such as intercession for others or petition for us).
- Daniel 9:17-19 "nice prayer"
- Psalms 1:8
- Psalms 122:6
So, in reading these scriptures and looking through this chapter 7 of my book I am seeing that it is scriptural to pray for things I have no idea about or control of...that I should make a list of things to pray for daily and not always pray for the things that are just important to me. Pray for those things that are in "Gods will not mine". So how do I do that Faith? Should I watch the news Hunter? or search the Bible Mia? Savanah, should we write things down so we don't forget? I think I'm going to try to start doing all of that so that I don't miss out on something that my Father wants from me! How about you?
Prayer: Heavenly Father, help me to come up with a disciplined list of things to pray for, things you find important and not just things that I find important because after all I really want your will done in my life and not mine! Teach me how you want me to pray Lord and show me your will, In Jesus name, Amen.
Sunday, February 16, 2014
Journal 1-29-14
Today is Wednesday and I have some good news to report. I spoke with Zarria on the phone yesterday and there are all kinds of amazing things happening outside the prison that I wasn't aware of. I think today we should take time to give glory to God, thank Him and maybe just "Praise" for a moment in the silence of my cell and quiet of my mind. I'm just going to sit here and sing over and over "Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord God Almighty" ....Thank you Jesus, Holy is your name. I give you all the glory, thank you Jesus....
I'm sitting here looking around my cell, it's about 8:30 am, my Bible is open to Psalms 7, and I've been reading verses 8-11 and pondering them. "The Lord judges the peoples; judge me O Lord according to my righteousness and according to the integrity that is in me. Oh, let the evil of the wicked come to and end and may you establish the righteous- you who test the minds and hearts O righteous God. My shield is with you who saves the upright in heart. God is a righteous judge, and a God who feels indignation every day." I have no idea why some days I pick what I pick to read or even write what I write. But it's therapy to me. God speaks to me this way. He gives me direction and ideas. It's what brings us close together.
So anyway, as I continue looking around my cell I see also my book What happens when Husbands and Wives Pray Together? I see a calendar that marks the days away and a copy of yesterdays posting that I will send off on Friday or Saturday for it to be posted next week or so. I know in the back of my mind that my daughters Zarria, Savanah, Faith, and Mia and my son Hunter are taken care of. I am taken care of and Angela, although lonely, is also taken care of. What comes to mind is the parable in Matthew that basically says "Quit tripping dude, even the birds and insects are taken care of in this world and you are surely more important than critters." I think that is in Matthew but not sure.
On top of all that Zarria is making progress on our family's behalf putting together these postings, creating a blog, editing a 31 day devotion and together we are creating a family testimony, an accountability with each other, a closeness with God. I hope people are as excited about sharing all of this as I am. I am sure that there is someone somewhere who will gain from it. So forward it to anyone you want. Share your own stories with us and lets give glory to God everywhere we can! I hope that somewhere there is a teenager, or a single parent, or family in distress, or prisoner who is stressed out that can get a copy of something we are doing together and it will give them a little hope in their life and show them that "with God all things are possible" and no matter what hurdles you face that if you give it a chance God can fix it! My life proves it.
100 days ago I never would have thought that in just 100 days all this could be happening to me. I have peace, confidence, hope, and all kinds of good to report. It shows me what good will come of a little investment in the Lord. "A few minutes a day can take the pain away."
Prayer: Heavenly Father, thank you for all your blessings and forgive me for any doubting I may have ever had. I pray Lord that you bless our efforts and give all of us, my family and friends, the ability to drop these postings and our stories into the hands of the people who need them most where ever they are. I trust Lord God that if "we write it, you'll send it." Amen.
I'm sitting here looking around my cell, it's about 8:30 am, my Bible is open to Psalms 7, and I've been reading verses 8-11 and pondering them. "The Lord judges the peoples; judge me O Lord according to my righteousness and according to the integrity that is in me. Oh, let the evil of the wicked come to and end and may you establish the righteous- you who test the minds and hearts O righteous God. My shield is with you who saves the upright in heart. God is a righteous judge, and a God who feels indignation every day." I have no idea why some days I pick what I pick to read or even write what I write. But it's therapy to me. God speaks to me this way. He gives me direction and ideas. It's what brings us close together.
So anyway, as I continue looking around my cell I see also my book What happens when Husbands and Wives Pray Together? I see a calendar that marks the days away and a copy of yesterdays posting that I will send off on Friday or Saturday for it to be posted next week or so. I know in the back of my mind that my daughters Zarria, Savanah, Faith, and Mia and my son Hunter are taken care of. I am taken care of and Angela, although lonely, is also taken care of. What comes to mind is the parable in Matthew that basically says "Quit tripping dude, even the birds and insects are taken care of in this world and you are surely more important than critters." I think that is in Matthew but not sure.
On top of all that Zarria is making progress on our family's behalf putting together these postings, creating a blog, editing a 31 day devotion and together we are creating a family testimony, an accountability with each other, a closeness with God. I hope people are as excited about sharing all of this as I am. I am sure that there is someone somewhere who will gain from it. So forward it to anyone you want. Share your own stories with us and lets give glory to God everywhere we can! I hope that somewhere there is a teenager, or a single parent, or family in distress, or prisoner who is stressed out that can get a copy of something we are doing together and it will give them a little hope in their life and show them that "with God all things are possible" and no matter what hurdles you face that if you give it a chance God can fix it! My life proves it.
100 days ago I never would have thought that in just 100 days all this could be happening to me. I have peace, confidence, hope, and all kinds of good to report. It shows me what good will come of a little investment in the Lord. "A few minutes a day can take the pain away."
Prayer: Heavenly Father, thank you for all your blessings and forgive me for any doubting I may have ever had. I pray Lord that you bless our efforts and give all of us, my family and friends, the ability to drop these postings and our stories into the hands of the people who need them most where ever they are. I trust Lord God that if "we write it, you'll send it." Amen.
Saturday, February 15, 2014
Journal 1-28-14
A Time and Place to Pray
- Psalm 55: 16-17
- Daniel 6:10
- Philippians 1:7
- Matthew 28:20
- Luke 22: 39
- Proverbs 28:9
Everyone should "hug" their father at least once a day. I'd like to think that prayer is like giving God a big ole hug early in the morning.
So I'm sitting here in my cell, that's my time and place, writing, praying, and reading. I have a wonderful painted green metal desk with obscenities and racial prejudice scratched all over it. It's the best place for me to get alone. My cellie (cellmate) is 3 feet behind me and farts every 15 minutes in his sleep and screams out sometimes "Don't touch me there!" I've never asked him what that is all about! lol Just Kidding about that. I thought it would make you laugh!
I've always been of the mindset that morning is the best time to pray and a comfortable chair with good coffee sitting on the arm rest sounds like the best place. But for those of us who can not get up before noon for anything but school and work, Angela & Savanah, I guess night time will do.
My time of prayer is important to me. It's "my quiet time" and my time at 9 pm with Angela is important too. But I'll confess I forgot last night! I was playing poker and didn't get up from the table till 9:30. Sorry Angela!
My prayer time on some days is more meaningful than others. Sometimes God really speaks to me and others not so much. Today is one of those not so much days. However, I enjoy writing to you guys. It is like therapy for me! Makes me feel like the husband, father, and friend God wants for me to be. I think it's important for me to keep my time daily with the Lord and can only imagine that some days He's busy and doesn't listen just like I don't always listen to my children when they are mumbling whatever.
Random Thoughts: It's good to be alive today, sober, healthy, in love, with 5 beautiful children who are also healthy and doing well. I own nothing, have no money, and cant get out of jail today but I am confident and more optimistic about my life than I've ever been. Thank you Jesus, "Life is good today".
Prayer: Father God, I ask you to please make our prayer time with you consistent, uninterrupted, and meaningful. Help us to hear what it is you want us to hear, see what it is you want us to see, and remember the things you don't want us to forget. Through this maybe we can bring a little more of you into our families, friends and work places. Amen.
Friday, February 14, 2014
Journal 1-27-14
Our commitment to pray together:
On this day 2-14-2014, we _____ and _____ agree together with God's help to pray together at 9 pm for His blessing in our relationship. For His mercy in this world & for His glory. Amen
"If two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by my father who is in heaven." Matthew 18:19
Everyone with a prayer partner should commit daily to one another to pray together. If you're single get a friend or just use this with your personal prayer time daily.
The Big Hurdle- it is being willing
- Psalm 143:10
- Psalm 51:6
- Philippians 2:13
Copying directly from the book, I like this: "Praying with another person makes a further demand. In prayer with another I must allow that person to be himself or herself too. This is why earlier we said that prayer together is the doorway to intimacy. Ask yourself, if my partner is not willing to pray with me, am I at fault? Am I forbearing and forgiving? Have I allowed the nine fold fruit of the Spirit to come forth in my life- as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5: 22-23)? Praying together as husband and wife does not demand that the two of us have "arrived" at all these virtues, just that we confess our need of them in overcoming the others resistance to the vulnerability prayer requires."
So I am going to make a confession. My own personal hurdle that I need to overcome! I have no problem praying alone or in a restaurant over a meal, but on several occasions Angela, while we've been separated for work or whatever has asked me to pray with her over the phone. It's something we had started doing daily together before I was locked up. And if no one was listening that was no problem but if I was walking through the motel or in the elevator or in the room on the phone with someone else in there it makes me feel funny. I think vulnerable! And it shouldn't, I don't think. Last night I called her at 9:00 (our prayer time) and she was about asleep but God wanted me to pray with her over the phone right there with ever one listening in prison and I "failed miserably". Like a coward I told her that when we got off the phone with one another we should take 5 minutes to pray for one another. This would give me time to get alone so no one could hear me and think I'm "crazy". I don't think that should be the norm! That shows me I have some growing up to do. So maybe you guys and gals will notice some similarities in your life as such and we can pray together about our attitudes and be proud of what we believe! Does an one else have this same trouble with praising God? Please pray for me on this one!
When I have struggled with addiction in the past, Angela often asked me this question, "Cody, when will I be good enough for you?" I think it's an appropriate question and can so hear the Lord asking it in my life, "Cody, when will I be good enough for you?" Can anybody relate with that? My answer today is I'm trying harder than ever Lord and Angela. Pray for me because we all know I need it.
Prayer: Lord, I ask that in our lives today you will help us all to be willing to cross the big hurdles in our lives. I ask that you bring forth the fruits of the spirit in our lives like it says in Galatians 5:22-23 and that in all areas of our life "you will be good enough for us." Amen.
Random Thoughts: I wonder if God minds me playing poker in jail? It's how I pass my time, it's fun, it helps me afford some "extras" in here and I like it. Although, due to the nature of the table and the environment I'm in, there is no other place in here that is more dangerous for me to be (Imagine that). Attitudes flare quickly and a fight could break out at anytime because people don't like to loose their money in prison. I'be been up 14 or 15 stamps on the table for a couple weeks. People have become upset with me because I'm always up and never down. Some have accused me of cheating but fact is I'm just playing smart and getting lucky! I sense trouble brewing but I really enjoy "winning". hmm... I've been contemplating, since Angela sent me some money to buy postage and paper, just loosing my money back to them on purpose but honestly my competitive nature just wants to "rub it in their nose" lol God help me!
There is something I hope that my kids, family, and friends realize: I hope you all see me as being very transparent and real, and daily growing in the Lord. I find things wrong with the way I live, think, and act every day. My prayer life and my transparency for now is my way of confession, getting right with God, my way of trying to show you that I am not perfect but very human just like all of you! I believe there is a better way to live and want to share it with people! Sometimes I think that because I'm "trying" that people might expect me to be like "Billy Graham" when I get out! I'm sure that's hardly going to be the case! I still struggle daily with the "desires of this world". There are thousands of them. One I'm fighting right now is how my first night with Angela will be. I love her and want to be married with her but I am probably going to fail miserably in that area when that time comes. Maybe she will by them help me and we can wait till we get married, even though it will be hard.
I want my kids to see that I'm no different than them. We all have struggles, somewhere in our lives, but by being honest, searching for God's heart and His will for our lives hopefully together we can work through the issues we have in our lives and help each other daily to live a life that will glorify God! So to my kiddos, In life if you screw up, get up, dust off, ask for forgiveness, make it right, and keep on trying. God knows our hearts, and your dad and the Lord are both pulling for you! :) Love you guys!
Thursday, February 13, 2014
Journal 1-26-14
Foundations for prayer
All of this goes along with my 4 favorite gestures in life- read, pray, turn from sin, ans surround ourselves with people doing the same! In reading all this it's obvious that we have to make an effort in our life to hear God and for Him to hear us, we have to act accordingly (turn from sin). I see that prayer is worship. Living in the light is worship and it's not always easy. We have to make sacrifices and be diligent for prayer to be successful. It's like working out. You wont build any muscle unless you sweat a bit.
I've never exercised my mind and spirit much with the Lord. I've always done things on my own and mostly resorted to prayer only when things got rough, but being locked up has given me the opportunity to workout and as I watch my muscles grow and my strength increase I can also see my spiritual life changing and it's obvious to me that whatever I'm doing today is a much more lucrative investment of my time than what I've done before. This morning I didn't want to do this stinking study at all, but when I got out of bed and got started I started feeling a little better and I'm now glad that I looked up all those scriptures and read them. I think everyday in making these little sacrifices and enduring these little pains, by making an effort, I get a little closer to the goal and that is communication with Jesus and salvation for a soul.
Prayer: Dear heavenly Father, thank you for your will be done today, yesterday, and tomorrow! Amen
Random thoughts: I miss being a daddy, spending time with my kids, laughing with Angela, and just being normal. What was I thinking? Life is set up to be so sweet and by the choices we make we can spoil so much of the good days! My apologies to all my children, my family, and my friends! My next forty years...I'm going to drink more lemonade and not so many beers. I think it's high time I started living and stopped dying!
- Luke 11:1-5, Romans 5:1-2, Genesis 6:8, Luke 18:8; 11:6, Matthew 6:9, Isaiah 1:15-16, John 13:35, 1 John 1:5-7, 9, Hebrews 4:16, Isaiah 58:1-9, Leviticus 19:18, 2 Corinthians 5:14, 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7, 1 Thessalonians 3:12, 1 John 4:19, 1 Peter 5:8-9, Ephesians 6:10-18, John 1:5, Romans 8: 37, Ecclesiastes 4:10, Psalm 31:15
All of this goes along with my 4 favorite gestures in life- read, pray, turn from sin, ans surround ourselves with people doing the same! In reading all this it's obvious that we have to make an effort in our life to hear God and for Him to hear us, we have to act accordingly (turn from sin). I see that prayer is worship. Living in the light is worship and it's not always easy. We have to make sacrifices and be diligent for prayer to be successful. It's like working out. You wont build any muscle unless you sweat a bit.
I've never exercised my mind and spirit much with the Lord. I've always done things on my own and mostly resorted to prayer only when things got rough, but being locked up has given me the opportunity to workout and as I watch my muscles grow and my strength increase I can also see my spiritual life changing and it's obvious to me that whatever I'm doing today is a much more lucrative investment of my time than what I've done before. This morning I didn't want to do this stinking study at all, but when I got out of bed and got started I started feeling a little better and I'm now glad that I looked up all those scriptures and read them. I think everyday in making these little sacrifices and enduring these little pains, by making an effort, I get a little closer to the goal and that is communication with Jesus and salvation for a soul.
Prayer: Dear heavenly Father, thank you for your will be done today, yesterday, and tomorrow! Amen
Random thoughts: I miss being a daddy, spending time with my kids, laughing with Angela, and just being normal. What was I thinking? Life is set up to be so sweet and by the choices we make we can spoil so much of the good days! My apologies to all my children, my family, and my friends! My next forty years...I'm going to drink more lemonade and not so many beers. I think it's high time I started living and stopped dying!
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Journal 1-25-14
Matthew 18:19-20
If two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.
O.k. We'll work on ch.4 tomorrow or Monday. This morning I'm just looking through my Bible reading over some of the verses I've circled and underlined, praying and talking to the Lord. I'm kind of just looking through these scriptures, waiting to see which ones jump off the page at me and sitting in the quiet to see if God says anything to me when I read them. Right now what is mostly on my mind is pancakes and 9:00 prayer time with Angela. Wouldn't it be great if I could incorporate the pancakes with the prayer time! lol That would be cool. You can see that this 9:00 prayer time with Angela, just 5 min a night is very important to me and it should be. We are going to do our best to hold true to that time together although we are not really together.
So many verses in the Bible make reference to the power of prayer and prayer in numbers with other believing people. I would also encourage you guys in your personal prayer time to try to find a scripture to incorporate into your prayer to give it that much more added power. I'm hoping that all of you can also find 5 minutes to stop what you're doing and join in with Angela and I at 9 p.m. every day and pray with us. My mind is set on me, Angela, Mia - Nick, Zarria - Savanah, Faith, Hunter - Tricia, Shawn. I think if we all make this a regular habit it will be rewarding and we will begin to see what an amazing difference it makes in our families life! It would be cool to see what God does for us. It could be like our little project! So what do you guys think? Every night at 9 p.m. grab up your partners, hold their hands, turn off the t.v, get alone together if possible and lets pray for one another- not ourselves but for the others in the group. I'm sure that God has amazing things in store for this family and we will see the fruits of our diligent prayer together before long. You just wait and see. Please inform your friends and family to get their own partners and chime in with us! Who knows, if we all wrestled two or three to dedicate 5 minutes at 9 p.m. and they wrestled two or three to dedicate 5 minutes at 9 p.m., you might be the start of something larger than your mind could imagine. The power of these prayers could move mountains!
Prayer: Father God, I hope and pray that these postings and our 9 p.m. prayers reach the hands of the people who need them. I hope that we honor you in doing this, that you will bless our work and carry this to the hearts in our family and yours, in which you need for it to go. Father God, I pray John 15:16-17 over all my family and friends. It says you chose us, and you appointed us to bear fruit and that whatever we ask in Jesus name, that God should give it to us. You command these things of us so that we will love on another and through these postings and prayers Lord I ask in Jesus name for you to grant us that we shall love one another and that we will be a light to the world for your sake. In Jesus name, Amen.
Random thoughts: My random thought for the day is I really want for my family, me, Angela, Mia, Zarria, Nick, Tricia, Shawn, Savanah, Faith, and Hunter to honor this prayer time, announce it at church, and encourage as many people as possible to begin praying with us for 5 minutes at 9 pm! Post it on facebook Savanah! Heck, if you post that on your facebook page it's likely to shut down the government!
If two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.
O.k. We'll work on ch.4 tomorrow or Monday. This morning I'm just looking through my Bible reading over some of the verses I've circled and underlined, praying and talking to the Lord. I'm kind of just looking through these scriptures, waiting to see which ones jump off the page at me and sitting in the quiet to see if God says anything to me when I read them. Right now what is mostly on my mind is pancakes and 9:00 prayer time with Angela. Wouldn't it be great if I could incorporate the pancakes with the prayer time! lol That would be cool. You can see that this 9:00 prayer time with Angela, just 5 min a night is very important to me and it should be. We are going to do our best to hold true to that time together although we are not really together.
So many verses in the Bible make reference to the power of prayer and prayer in numbers with other believing people. I would also encourage you guys in your personal prayer time to try to find a scripture to incorporate into your prayer to give it that much more added power. I'm hoping that all of you can also find 5 minutes to stop what you're doing and join in with Angela and I at 9 p.m. every day and pray with us. My mind is set on me, Angela, Mia - Nick, Zarria - Savanah, Faith, Hunter - Tricia, Shawn. I think if we all make this a regular habit it will be rewarding and we will begin to see what an amazing difference it makes in our families life! It would be cool to see what God does for us. It could be like our little project! So what do you guys think? Every night at 9 p.m. grab up your partners, hold their hands, turn off the t.v, get alone together if possible and lets pray for one another- not ourselves but for the others in the group. I'm sure that God has amazing things in store for this family and we will see the fruits of our diligent prayer together before long. You just wait and see. Please inform your friends and family to get their own partners and chime in with us! Who knows, if we all wrestled two or three to dedicate 5 minutes at 9 p.m. and they wrestled two or three to dedicate 5 minutes at 9 p.m., you might be the start of something larger than your mind could imagine. The power of these prayers could move mountains!
Prayer: Father God, I hope and pray that these postings and our 9 p.m. prayers reach the hands of the people who need them. I hope that we honor you in doing this, that you will bless our work and carry this to the hearts in our family and yours, in which you need for it to go. Father God, I pray John 15:16-17 over all my family and friends. It says you chose us, and you appointed us to bear fruit and that whatever we ask in Jesus name, that God should give it to us. You command these things of us so that we will love on another and through these postings and prayers Lord I ask in Jesus name for you to grant us that we shall love one another and that we will be a light to the world for your sake. In Jesus name, Amen.
Random thoughts: My random thought for the day is I really want for my family, me, Angela, Mia, Zarria, Nick, Tricia, Shawn, Savanah, Faith, and Hunter to honor this prayer time, announce it at church, and encourage as many people as possible to begin praying with us for 5 minutes at 9 pm! Post it on facebook Savanah! Heck, if you post that on your facebook page it's likely to shut down the government!
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Journal 1-24-14
Today we will look at ch. 3 "Why Pray Together". I like a quote at the front of the chapter by a St. Richard of the 13th century! I'll put it in Arkansas English for us to more easily understand: Day by day there are 3 things I pray, to see you more clearly, to love you more dearly, and to follow you more nearly.
Here are a few thoughts I want you to ponder that I enjoyed in Ch. 3
Here are a few thoughts I want you to ponder that I enjoyed in Ch. 3
- Morning quiet time is essential to the Christian life. When we seek God in the a.m before anything else it helps us to tune our ears to hear Him throughout the day and little by little renews our spirit into the "new man" or "new woman" He intends for us to become. Also, I'm a firm believer that by giving Him this time He will more reliably turn His ear to us as well.
- Read John 3:27, 1 Corinthians 10:12, 1 Samuel 1:19, 1 Corinthians 7:4-5, 1 Peter 3:7, Matthew 18:19-20, James 4:6, John 16:24
- "Prayer works, Prayer is work, Prayer works on you"
- They quote "We have never seen a couple we knew, one who prayed together regularly, encounter serious marital difficulties. It's that simple...and yet that profound."
- They quote and I agree "This difficult work the Lord has given me was His way of getting me close to Him."
- If the Lord has no other plans but to bring me, you, us, into deeper fellowship with Him, then this thing that seems so difficult to us we should accept and embrace as sweet time with Him. Whatever jail, loneliness, or valley you find yourself in, use it to glorify the Lord and see what happens to your life.
Prayer: I pray today for closeness Lord. For you to be close to all my family and friends, for us to be close to one another. I pray that through those short studies we do everyday we all can come together, for your purpose, even when we are so far away. In Jesus name, Amen.
Random thoughts: I am in love with Angela Brown. We spoke this morning and she said she kept our first 9 p.m. date of 5 minutes of prayer last night. So last night while in jail and her in N. Dakota we stopped what we were doing to pray for each other and for us as a couple. I hope we never let anything get more important in our lives than this.
Monday, February 10, 2014
Journal 1-23-14
Notes: Why Couples don't pray together
- Psalm 20:1-2,4
- 1 Corinthians 15:58
- Romans 8:26
- Micah 6:8
- We all need to develop regular, planned, frequent, supplication
Good morning guys and gals! Well today we are reviewing chapter 2 of What Happens when Husbands and Wives Pray Together. The book you all have made plans to go purchase and read this weekend while in town shopping! Right?!! So, I've read through it again and copied down some verses and some of the quotes that jumped out at me as I did yesterday in Ch. 1 and I'd have to say this may be my least favorite chapter I think! Probably because I think I've mastered "why I don't pray" and "Why I don't do it with other people much". Nevertheless, we can still pull something from the verses and plug those into our lives for daily meditation.
In reading this book and studying with me everyday, like this, it's my hope that we will together build a prayer life alone everyday (our personal time with God), and after we've established that together and daily maybe we can start developing a prayer life together everyday or with someone with us. Nick & Zarria - Me & Angela - Mia & Angela - Savanah & a friend - Hunter & Faith - etc. You guys keep that in the back of your mind because I'm going to start "pressing" you soon.
My whole life I've been able to find reasons not to pray but mostly I didn't do it because nobody encouraged me to develop the habit.
Random thoughts: On a few occasions in my life, I've started a spiritual walk with the Lord "for real" and noticed during that time that while I'm spending time with the Lord I am truly at peace. When I read, pray, meditate, and consciously make an effort to do the right thing I have much more confidence, and zeal for life. I am simply much happier than when I have unconsciously turned form Him. I think daily prayer and meditation helps us to not make the mistake of accidentally turning form God and doing it on our own. That has happened to me several times.
Prayer: Heavenly Father, I pray that we all will develop daily prayer habits with you and learn what it is that you require of us. I ask that you make us steadfast, immovable, and always abounding in the work of the Lord, and knowing that our labor in you will not be in vain, just like it says in 1 Corinthians 15:58. Amen.
Saturday, February 8, 2014
Journal 1-22-14
Notes:
- Prayer is knowing God
- Psalm 90: 14-17
- Ecclesiastes 9:9 ; 4:9
- Philippians 2:13
- Job 10:1 ; 10:18 ; 19:6-7 ; 42: 5-6
- Mathew- "promises"
- "where two of you shall agree on earth concerning anything"..."where two or three are gathered together."
- Acts
- adoration, confession, thanksgiving, supplication
- "The paradox of prayer is that it asks for serious effort while it can only be received as a gift. We cannot plan, organize, or manipulate God, but without careful discipline we cannot receive him either."
- "What comes to mind when I think of prayer? Asking God for things? Praising Him? Discovering His Will"
- "Prayer is not an Aladdin's lamp which we rub in order to get what we want. It is the way we seek God's will so that we can align ourselves with it."
- "Prayer is not about getting 'stuff' from God but about knowing God and coming to His presence."
So I've read this book and because I'm pretty sure that no one but Nick and Zarria will actually purchase the book and read it, I'm going to read it again slowly and give an account of each chapter.As you can see in my notes above, I have written down several Scriptures which deal with "Prayer and knowing God" which I expect you to look up and read. I particularly like Job 19:6-7. How many times have I asked the Lord in turmoil, Do you hate me? Are you there? Can you hear me? Why are you doing this to me? What have I done to deserve this? Sound familiar to any of you? I guess that my whole life I've thought that God was supposed to be at my beck and call because I needed Him right then or wanted something. I suppose He may have even granted my wishes a few times, probably because He was sick of hearing me belly ache.
I'm recently learning that prayer isn't always fun or easy. It takes dedication and discipline. In any relationship their has to be communication or it will fail. Prayer and bible study is the only thing I know of at present that will prepare you for the "gift of prayer and communication" that God has for us!That's how we talk to Him. That is our line of communication! So what does all this tell me? That until recently I have not been preparing myself properly to talk to God! I'm like a baby just now learning how to talk and listen! It has donned on me that those "oh crap" prayers I've been giving were probably a waste of time. Since I've been reading this book God has put it on my heart to learn to pray and pray with someone else. I'd like to think that Angela and I could pick a time to start praying together at the same time or day while separated and maybe my kids could chime in as well. We could take 5 minutes a day at the same time to say a short prayer together! It would take discipline and dedication but would be very rewarding I'm sure!
If I took anything out of this chapter it would be this. Praying is not an "oh crap" thing. To be done properly it needs to be done daily and we need to give God time to answer. Also, if we don't apply our hearts to the knowledge He gives us our prayers may fall on deaf ears!
Random Thoughts: In Matthew 13: 1-9, the parable of the sower, I can so see my life choices coming to life. It's kind of cool to me how in God's kingdom everything is like a perfect math equation. When all is applied appropriately you get a whole number on the end, no remainders or fractions, just a good solid number.
Prayer: Lord help all of us to discipline ourselves daily in prayer and bible reading so you will hear us, we will hear you, and there will be no lack of communication. Amen.
Friday, February 7, 2014
Journal 1-21-14
It's amazing to
me what happens to a man, of the I can do it on my own attitude (like me), when
he lays down his pride, reads the directions, and follows them. The pieces all
start to come together and everything begins to make sense! I don't know how
many times I've sat trying to figure something out on my own, because I'm a
proud, fix it kind of guy who can do anything, only to get frustrated and give
up and then a much less capable person, being Angela or Tricia, comes behind me
with the instructions or a map and gets the job done! A few Christmas gifts and
vacations come to mind. I am seeing the same type of situations coming to play
in my life as a Christian.
I wonder how many
people, like me, wonder around in "the wilderness" lost with a Bible
in their hands or at work or in their vehicle? I'll bet since I could read I've
had a Bible at my disposal and wondered many times what I was doing wrong. I've cussed, fussed,
cried, sweated, bled, agonized, self destructed, self mutilated, and all kinds
of things, when all along all I needed to do was pick up the instructions and
read them and follow them. Wow... Do you guys and gals see where I am going with this? There is an instruction
manual in your presence right now. What burdens do you carry? What things do you
want or need that you have not prepared for and even asked for, because you too
are trying to do it on your own?!!
This lesson will
be based on Proverbs 22: 17-20. I'll call it "Following
Instructions". "Incline your ear, and hear the words of the wise and
apply your heart to my knowledge." What this says to me? "Cody- pick
up the freaking book (bible) read it from time to time, preferably daily, and
apply to your life what you read. And all the rest will take care of itself!
Duuuhhh!!! I can so hear God telling me that. For 42 years I've wondered around
trying to do things on my own and now I'm just realizing that if I would have
taken the easy road and followed instructions, that were available, I would not
have had to struggle so much and bear so much pain in my life.
Sometimes when
I've read, its put me to sleep. Sometimes I didn't really listen or apply the
instruction to my life. Mia, once when I was putting together a play house for
you I didn't read the instruction manual and I didn't get it all put together
right. The same works out in our lives like a construction project. God is the
engineer, he gives us the blueprints to follow and if we follow them the
project comes together. There are often always problems along the way! But I
know if I am diligent in following the directions given that I will get the job
done! The same applies to our lives, our relationships with Jesus, and how we
live! Answer this for me: "Are you really following the instruction of
your Father in Heaven?"
Random Thoughts: Today I recognize that I’ve been studying a
lot, digging for material and information. As that is very rewarding to me, I
want to start dedicating more time to prayer. After reading the book What Happens When Husbands and Wives Pray
Together I feel that I need to pray
more and I think that I’ll invite more people to pray with me at the very same
time as well! Wouldn’t it be nice if every morning we could all take just 5
minutes and pray together at the very same time for each other!
Prayer: Father God I pray that we all will notice the
instructions you've given us and I pray that like in Proverbs 22:17, we incline
our ear, and hear the words of the wise, that we apply our hearts to your
knowledge. I pray that we trust in you Lord and not ourselves. For you are the
way and the light and the truth. Amen. -Cody-
Thursday, February 6, 2014
Journal 1-20-14
Boy...I'm going to give you all a little personal testimony this morning. I'm sitting here in my jail cell, and it's 10:00 a.m. The sun is shinning bright outside and it looks like a great day. I wish we were all together. I won an extra slice of pizza last night on the Seahawks and San Francisco game. Hunter, who were you pulling for? I also came up 6 stamps on the poker table. That puts me at 15 stamps for the week to the good. lol ...I wonder if God minds me doing a little gambling in here? It helps to pass time and keeps me in writing material! My days consist of prayer time and meditation, journaling, writing and bible study from the time I wake up till my cell gets up usually around 12:00 noon. From 2:00 till 4:30 I lift weights and run the stairs. And from 7:30 to 9:45 every night I work! That means I gamble at the poker table! And that is what I do every day.
Today I'm missing my family, all of you! Angela, Zarria, Nick, Savanah, Faith, Hunter, Mia. You all are the most important 7 people in my life right now and I want you to know that I love you very much. I'm kind of excited about writing to you all like this because I can kind of get you in touch with my feelings all at the same time and I don't have to spend so much paper and postage. 7 letters a day would be murder.
I think maybe once or twice a week I wont give you any scriptures to read, but just talk with you, tell you what's on my heart and maybe just try to listen to God's voice and put it on paper. So far I've been reading What Happens When Husbands and Wives Pray Together by Carey Moore and Pamela Roswell Moore and sponsored by Ruth Bell Graham. I assume that is Billy Graham's old lady. Anyway, it's a very good book and I'd like for Nick and Zarria and Angela to go to the nearest book store and get a copy or just download it to your tablet. It's a short read but very good information. God talks to me a lot through reading and believe it or not I'm finding that I like to write my thoughts down also. Maybe one day Angela and I can write a book on our experiences and get it to people with drug problems and people that come from broken homes! I would encourage all of you to daily write down your thoughts that you have with the Lord and your day to day life. I think you'll find it to be rewarding one day! In the last 2 or 3 weeks I've been on a mission to get right with the Lord and make sure that I don't fall back into Satan's trap when I'm released! I wonder what you all are struggling with in your lives and wish you would write me to let me know what's going on with you! One way correspondence gets lonely sometimes. Pray for me to keep motivation up to be diligent in my correspondence with you guys so you all can see my thoughts and be as much a part of my life as possible right now! Today I feel like the lonely man on a beach without a volleyball named Wilson to talk too.
Prayer: Father God, in Luke 11:1 it says "Lord, teach us to pray." and that is our prayer today that you would honor your word in our lives and teach us to pray. Show us the importance, help us to remain faithful to that and intercede for us when we forget a few things. Our purpose is to know you Jesus and know the direction in our lives that you want us to go. Father your will be done -Amen-
Today I'm missing my family, all of you! Angela, Zarria, Nick, Savanah, Faith, Hunter, Mia. You all are the most important 7 people in my life right now and I want you to know that I love you very much. I'm kind of excited about writing to you all like this because I can kind of get you in touch with my feelings all at the same time and I don't have to spend so much paper and postage. 7 letters a day would be murder.
I think maybe once or twice a week I wont give you any scriptures to read, but just talk with you, tell you what's on my heart and maybe just try to listen to God's voice and put it on paper. So far I've been reading What Happens When Husbands and Wives Pray Together by Carey Moore and Pamela Roswell Moore and sponsored by Ruth Bell Graham. I assume that is Billy Graham's old lady. Anyway, it's a very good book and I'd like for Nick and Zarria and Angela to go to the nearest book store and get a copy or just download it to your tablet. It's a short read but very good information. God talks to me a lot through reading and believe it or not I'm finding that I like to write my thoughts down also. Maybe one day Angela and I can write a book on our experiences and get it to people with drug problems and people that come from broken homes! I would encourage all of you to daily write down your thoughts that you have with the Lord and your day to day life. I think you'll find it to be rewarding one day! In the last 2 or 3 weeks I've been on a mission to get right with the Lord and make sure that I don't fall back into Satan's trap when I'm released! I wonder what you all are struggling with in your lives and wish you would write me to let me know what's going on with you! One way correspondence gets lonely sometimes. Pray for me to keep motivation up to be diligent in my correspondence with you guys so you all can see my thoughts and be as much a part of my life as possible right now! Today I feel like the lonely man on a beach without a volleyball named Wilson to talk too.
Prayer: Father God, in Luke 11:1 it says "Lord, teach us to pray." and that is our prayer today that you would honor your word in our lives and teach us to pray. Show us the importance, help us to remain faithful to that and intercede for us when we forget a few things. Our purpose is to know you Jesus and know the direction in our lives that you want us to go. Father your will be done -Amen-
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
Journal 1-19-14
Well, I started a book last night entitled What Happens When Husbands and Wives Pray Together, so I found a study entitled "Prayer and Bible Study" out of 2 Peter 1. I think you all should just go ahead and read the whole chapter. I particularly like 2 Peter 1:5-11. Looks to me like in these few lines Peter along with a few others are on the mountain with Jesus. I'm sure they are taking notes with their "stone tablets by apple" lol. So they are taking notes! The notes we see in the Bible here in 2nd Peter. Jesus was with them. They actually heard the voice of the Lord. They wrote it down. They have shared it with us!
Now, I read the chapter twice and will read it again here in a minute. But it just jumped out at me that God is real, alive, and waiting for us to hear Him, to have time with Him and wants our fellowship! The best way I know how to do that is through "prayer and bible study". It says in the very last sentence of this chapter that "men spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit" -or- baptized in the Holy Spirit. That is actually the Holy Spirit speaking through someone. Now I know some think that stuff is phony but I'm here to say it's not. I've personally watched Angela become filled with the Holy Spirit and a few others who spoke in a language I've never heard that I know could't have made that stuff up! Everyday that I pray and spend time reading I don't get filled with the Holy Spirit or hear from God audibly like Peter on the mountain, but God slaps me in the face with something I've probably read before but it strikes me different today. Make sense?
In my life, I've seen some weird stuff and as long as I've lived God has rarely spoken to me, that I know of unless I was in prayer or study. Hopefully that gets better with time and I am able to tune my ear a little better to hear His voice as Peter did on the mountain through prayer and study. Wouldn't that be cool? Think back on a time when you really needed something from the Lord and felt he wasn't listening...and answer honestly... Prior to that and during that time in your life how much time were you investing in prayer and study with the Lord? If I'm a betting man, I'd say probably not any and maybe very little! We have to spend some time with Him daily getting to know Him because cry's for help only don't cut the mustard in my book! I'll bet if you start daily praying and reading just a little that over time you'll see your life begin to change! For real dude!! Happened to me!
Prayer: Heavenly Father, please make it a priority to pray and study your word daily alone and with our partners in life so that we can learn to hear your voice and build the relationship with you that you so desire and that we need in our lives. Remind us to make that a priority and be diligent in our efforts so when we call your sure to hear and we are able to listen! There sure is a lot of racket down here -Cody-
2 Prayer: Help us "to be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world" because we read and pray daily! -me again-
Now, I read the chapter twice and will read it again here in a minute. But it just jumped out at me that God is real, alive, and waiting for us to hear Him, to have time with Him and wants our fellowship! The best way I know how to do that is through "prayer and bible study". It says in the very last sentence of this chapter that "men spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit" -or- baptized in the Holy Spirit. That is actually the Holy Spirit speaking through someone. Now I know some think that stuff is phony but I'm here to say it's not. I've personally watched Angela become filled with the Holy Spirit and a few others who spoke in a language I've never heard that I know could't have made that stuff up! Everyday that I pray and spend time reading I don't get filled with the Holy Spirit or hear from God audibly like Peter on the mountain, but God slaps me in the face with something I've probably read before but it strikes me different today. Make sense?
In my life, I've seen some weird stuff and as long as I've lived God has rarely spoken to me, that I know of unless I was in prayer or study. Hopefully that gets better with time and I am able to tune my ear a little better to hear His voice as Peter did on the mountain through prayer and study. Wouldn't that be cool? Think back on a time when you really needed something from the Lord and felt he wasn't listening...and answer honestly... Prior to that and during that time in your life how much time were you investing in prayer and study with the Lord? If I'm a betting man, I'd say probably not any and maybe very little! We have to spend some time with Him daily getting to know Him because cry's for help only don't cut the mustard in my book! I'll bet if you start daily praying and reading just a little that over time you'll see your life begin to change! For real dude!! Happened to me!
Prayer: Heavenly Father, please make it a priority to pray and study your word daily alone and with our partners in life so that we can learn to hear your voice and build the relationship with you that you so desire and that we need in our lives. Remind us to make that a priority and be diligent in our efforts so when we call your sure to hear and we are able to listen! There sure is a lot of racket down here -Cody-
2 Prayer: Help us "to be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world" because we read and pray daily! -me again-
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
Journal 1-18-14
Today's lesson will be called "Finding Gods Strength" found in Judges 16:21-31 and 1 Corinthians 7:1-40. In the story Samson has called on the strength of the Lord to avenge himself. He is asking that the Lord give him the strength to knock two pillars over that support a coliseum or some type of structure that would obviously be very hard to do or seem impossible lest he had some help. All through the Bible we see God giving people strength to do amazing feats. It says that you only need the faith of a mustard seed to move mountains. I hear stories all the time about people in tragic situations getting out alive or saving people. I've never had to experience this kind of strength before, except one time when your mother fell asleep on my arm and I had to pull it out! Just kidding lol. I've heard many stories of people who have lifted vehicle's off of people trapped, or trees that have fallen on people, and huge wives that roll over on their husbands while they sleep. Ha..Ha.. Obviously, these people have needed super human strength to be given so they could make it out of the situation they were in. Can you all think of any situation in your life where you might need to call on God for help to get you out of a tight spot? And will you remember to ask for the Lords help during that time in your life?!
In 1 Corinthians, it talks about the natural tendencies of a man and a woman, their desires for one another, and gives some explanation to what God finds acceptable. This passage gives instruction as to how married and unmarried people should respond to one another in the area of sexuality and desire for human touch. I can see why this lesson is called Finding God's Strength, because I know that it is very hard to turn away from or resist the touch of a significant other at times in our lives and it clearly states that we are not supposed to have sex till we are married and we should only have sex with our spouse! Now starting young in my life I failed miserably with all of these because I did not have God in my life. You guys all know that if you let yourself get all mushy, mushy with a little boy or little girl that it is going to take God given strength to get it stopped before something else happens! (Savanah) So my advice would be don't make it harder than it already is. What does that mean for me? Well, I will honor that and have to find a way to restrain myself from Angela until we get married! I think that is the right thing to do and it will definitely take me finding God's strength to do so!
Prayer: Father God, I hope and pray that my children see that your power is real, that your strength is mighty, and that you are faithful. Father help all of us to remember Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Him that strengthens me"! Help us to recognize in our lives when we need special strength to turn from sin before we fall victim to one of Satan's traps and remind us to call on you in those times of need! In Jesus name - Amen
In 1 Corinthians, it talks about the natural tendencies of a man and a woman, their desires for one another, and gives some explanation to what God finds acceptable. This passage gives instruction as to how married and unmarried people should respond to one another in the area of sexuality and desire for human touch. I can see why this lesson is called Finding God's Strength, because I know that it is very hard to turn away from or resist the touch of a significant other at times in our lives and it clearly states that we are not supposed to have sex till we are married and we should only have sex with our spouse! Now starting young in my life I failed miserably with all of these because I did not have God in my life. You guys all know that if you let yourself get all mushy, mushy with a little boy or little girl that it is going to take God given strength to get it stopped before something else happens! (Savanah) So my advice would be don't make it harder than it already is. What does that mean for me? Well, I will honor that and have to find a way to restrain myself from Angela until we get married! I think that is the right thing to do and it will definitely take me finding God's strength to do so!
Prayer: Father God, I hope and pray that my children see that your power is real, that your strength is mighty, and that you are faithful. Father help all of us to remember Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Him that strengthens me"! Help us to recognize in our lives when we need special strength to turn from sin before we fall victim to one of Satan's traps and remind us to call on you in those times of need! In Jesus name - Amen
Monday, February 3, 2014
Journal 1-17-14
Good morning guys! How are you? I'm reading my little verse this morning out of Genesis 21:1-21 and Ephesians 6:1-4. We'll call this study family tensions. Now I know that in early times things were different, but I'm sure that although that may be true, people still dealt with jealousy, anger, and all the feelings that go along with a normal day to day family of today. In that, we can see that God still has a plan for us as individuals and as families.
Ephesians is very clear - honor your father and mother, don't provoke your children. Guys, you need to listen to what your parents, including step parents have to say. Respect that and be thankful for them because God has a plan for all of us.
In Genesis, we can see that even though Abraham had children with his wife Sarah and his maid Hagar that caused problems between the women - jealousy, I'd imagine. What do you think mom would say to Shawn if he moved a maid in and they had children together? Be kind of ugly wouldn't it? Well it was for Abram as well and he and Sarah had to exile or banish Hagar and her son. Faith, that means they got kicked out of the house to live on their own. So Hagar was alone and ready to give up on life (Angela) and God still had plans for her and her son Ishmael. Just like He has plans for my family, and our situation. Angela and Mia are alone right now, I am in jail, and mom and Shawn are raising 4 of my children. I can definitely gain from this bible lesson, that although sin and corruption enters a family circle, God still has a plan so thank God always for troubles we face. (James 1: 2-4) Let God mold us into the people He needs, so we can be the best we can be for Him and His cause.
Prayer: For all parties involved, Lord I pray that all my children and adults directly involved can see that Always You have a perfect plan for us and find reason never to turn from you, but look to you for today's higher purpose no matter what.
Ephesians is very clear - honor your father and mother, don't provoke your children. Guys, you need to listen to what your parents, including step parents have to say. Respect that and be thankful for them because God has a plan for all of us.
In Genesis, we can see that even though Abraham had children with his wife Sarah and his maid Hagar that caused problems between the women - jealousy, I'd imagine. What do you think mom would say to Shawn if he moved a maid in and they had children together? Be kind of ugly wouldn't it? Well it was for Abram as well and he and Sarah had to exile or banish Hagar and her son. Faith, that means they got kicked out of the house to live on their own. So Hagar was alone and ready to give up on life (Angela) and God still had plans for her and her son Ishmael. Just like He has plans for my family, and our situation. Angela and Mia are alone right now, I am in jail, and mom and Shawn are raising 4 of my children. I can definitely gain from this bible lesson, that although sin and corruption enters a family circle, God still has a plan so thank God always for troubles we face. (James 1: 2-4) Let God mold us into the people He needs, so we can be the best we can be for Him and His cause.
Prayer: For all parties involved, Lord I pray that all my children and adults directly involved can see that Always You have a perfect plan for us and find reason never to turn from you, but look to you for today's higher purpose no matter what.
Sunday, February 2, 2014
Journal 1-16-14
Today is Thursday 1-16-14 and it's quiet in prison. All the little children are still sleeping. The sun is just coming up over the horizon, as I look through the bars of my window, about the size of a chess board, through the fence that separates freedom from a place where guards with a chip on their shoulder tell grown men how to live and they've gotten us all trained like cattle. When we hear our cell doors pop its like the farmer who pulls into the pasture, the cattle all come running and the inmates all pack up at the corral waiting for some grub.
So I'm sitting here reading in my Bible, talking with the Lord and today's lesson is "Danger of Disobedience" Numbers 13:26-14:45 and Revelation 14:1-15:8. How convenient right! lol I know all too well what the dangers of disobedience are! It lands you in a fine establishment just like this! They "will always leave the light on for ya!" I hope you guys learn from your daddy's mistakes, listen to the "voice" of the scriptures we read together and apply them to your life so you don't end up living your life like a bunch of cattle. I'm sure God wants more for all of us than that but we must be obedient to that and in order to do that we have got to apply the word of God to our lives. So Zarria tell Nick he can't go play basketball. You all read with me. Savanah get off facebook, get Hunter off the video games, and snap your fingers so Faith quits daydreaming. Ya'll go to the kitchen table and read these scriptures. Angela you do the same with Mia and tell her I love her.
Ok. That took just about 10 minutes to read. Now I'm going to tell you in this email that Zarria has sent to all of you, Right Zarria, what I think, how I apply some of the things to my life and you guys talk about them among yourselves. If you have questions write me a letter and ask, I'll respond as quickly as possible! I've never read much in the Old Testament, but I see that there are a lot of cool stories there that we can apply to our lives today.Sometimes I forget that the people back then were just like us, trying to figure out life, how to do right, how to get away with doing wrong, and just normal people like us only without facebook. Hard to believe, right Savanah? I can so hear you saying, "I'd rather be dead."
Reading in Numbers, we see that a group of God's people were trying to take some land from people who didn't favor God. It appears that the unfavored group of bullies were big and tough and that the favored group of God's people were small and weak, as is always the case for some reason! Why are the bullies always big, right Hunter? God wanted these guys to take some land, told them that and basically they were scared. They did not trust in the Lord that God had their backs! First lesson, if God tells you to do something, do it! Now, not later! We can see that in this reading a few of the "chosen" had a change of heart after Moses did a little coaxing, but looks like to me they were too late and missed out on a blessing in their life. I am guilty of that. Are you? Second lesson, if we don't listen to God's direction we may not get some cool stuff that God really wants us to have! Looks like because the chosen were not obedient to the Lord at the time of his calling the Big unchosen bullies came down off the mountain and kicked Moses' people's butt! That is not what we want is it? So what are we going to do? I'm going to figure out what God wants and do it so I don't get my butt kicked! Again!!!
Now in Revelation 14:1-15:8 I'm sure that it says much more than I really pick up on or understand all the way, but I'm sure that every time I read it God will reveal something new to me. (Hint!! Hint!!) Zarria, that means read it more than once! :) I know this, it says plainly in Revelation 14:7 give God glory, fear Him, the hour is coming when He will come and all of us need to be ready for that day so we can be pleasing to the Lord and not cast out into the "Sea of Fire" (Rev. 15:2). I don't want to get a "spankin" from the Lord and that's just what I have coming unless I continue to live for His cause, glory, and purpose. Amen.
Prayer: Dear Heavenly Father, I pray that my family, friends, and all the people of your choosing will hear what it is that you want for their lives. That they will be obedient to that no matter where, no matter what! I hope, Father God, that my children are able to see how wonderful you are and follow your call on their lives before they get halfway through their lives so that they don't miss out on all the wonderful things that you want for them in this life on Earth. I hope that through their obedience to you they will shine like a light in the darkness for you and help many disobedient people in this world see that it really is cool to serve you and give it "their all" for your glory. In Jesus name, Amen.
So I'm sitting here reading in my Bible, talking with the Lord and today's lesson is "Danger of Disobedience" Numbers 13:26-14:45 and Revelation 14:1-15:8. How convenient right! lol I know all too well what the dangers of disobedience are! It lands you in a fine establishment just like this! They "will always leave the light on for ya!" I hope you guys learn from your daddy's mistakes, listen to the "voice" of the scriptures we read together and apply them to your life so you don't end up living your life like a bunch of cattle. I'm sure God wants more for all of us than that but we must be obedient to that and in order to do that we have got to apply the word of God to our lives. So Zarria tell Nick he can't go play basketball. You all read with me. Savanah get off facebook, get Hunter off the video games, and snap your fingers so Faith quits daydreaming. Ya'll go to the kitchen table and read these scriptures. Angela you do the same with Mia and tell her I love her.
Ok. That took just about 10 minutes to read. Now I'm going to tell you in this email that Zarria has sent to all of you, Right Zarria, what I think, how I apply some of the things to my life and you guys talk about them among yourselves. If you have questions write me a letter and ask, I'll respond as quickly as possible! I've never read much in the Old Testament, but I see that there are a lot of cool stories there that we can apply to our lives today.Sometimes I forget that the people back then were just like us, trying to figure out life, how to do right, how to get away with doing wrong, and just normal people like us only without facebook. Hard to believe, right Savanah? I can so hear you saying, "I'd rather be dead."
Reading in Numbers, we see that a group of God's people were trying to take some land from people who didn't favor God. It appears that the unfavored group of bullies were big and tough and that the favored group of God's people were small and weak, as is always the case for some reason! Why are the bullies always big, right Hunter? God wanted these guys to take some land, told them that and basically they were scared. They did not trust in the Lord that God had their backs! First lesson, if God tells you to do something, do it! Now, not later! We can see that in this reading a few of the "chosen" had a change of heart after Moses did a little coaxing, but looks like to me they were too late and missed out on a blessing in their life. I am guilty of that. Are you? Second lesson, if we don't listen to God's direction we may not get some cool stuff that God really wants us to have! Looks like because the chosen were not obedient to the Lord at the time of his calling the Big unchosen bullies came down off the mountain and kicked Moses' people's butt! That is not what we want is it? So what are we going to do? I'm going to figure out what God wants and do it so I don't get my butt kicked! Again!!!
Now in Revelation 14:1-15:8 I'm sure that it says much more than I really pick up on or understand all the way, but I'm sure that every time I read it God will reveal something new to me. (Hint!! Hint!!) Zarria, that means read it more than once! :) I know this, it says plainly in Revelation 14:7 give God glory, fear Him, the hour is coming when He will come and all of us need to be ready for that day so we can be pleasing to the Lord and not cast out into the "Sea of Fire" (Rev. 15:2). I don't want to get a "spankin" from the Lord and that's just what I have coming unless I continue to live for His cause, glory, and purpose. Amen.
Prayer: Dear Heavenly Father, I pray that my family, friends, and all the people of your choosing will hear what it is that you want for their lives. That they will be obedient to that no matter where, no matter what! I hope, Father God, that my children are able to see how wonderful you are and follow your call on their lives before they get halfway through their lives so that they don't miss out on all the wonderful things that you want for them in this life on Earth. I hope that through their obedience to you they will shine like a light in the darkness for you and help many disobedient people in this world see that it really is cool to serve you and give it "their all" for your glory. In Jesus name, Amen.
- Love you. Dad -
Saturday, February 1, 2014
Journal 1-15-14
I think I'm going to start journaling everyday after or during Bible study to keep track of what I'm doing, what my thoughts are, and where my head is! For the past week or so God has had me working anxiously on a statement of my life, a devotion for my kids and fathers and people who know me! I've found I enjoy writing my thoughts down especially for my kids to read, if they will because I want them to see that people have problems good days and bad. I believe that when I get out I will email all of them daily my thoughts on my life and what God is doing in my life today. I hope to create a bond and accountability between us that way. Hope to build an opportunity for us to be together, even when we can't be together! It's the only way God has revealed to me that we can spend time together. It's my effort in being a father when the cards are not falling on the table appropriately. I think I'm going to have Zarria open an email account for me and send daily a list of my journaling to my kids and my friends and my family etc.
Today I woke up sore late and got a rough start because I have been exercising a lot. My mind is on Angela and my children. I have been locked up since before Halloween and received 2 letters one from Zarria and one from Angela. Angela's letter gives me encouragement about our situation presently and smells good too! I thought of "my buddy" yesterday as it was her birthday and I miss her terribly. She doesn't know it but I pray for her daily. In writing this page I notice that for 10 years I could have been doing this very thing and sending it to my children, developing a relationship with them. Instead I've hidden from them like a coward and not invested in their lives like I should have! Please forgive me!
Even if I'm in prison and my kids are not all together we can still spend time together in the Lord! Right now I'm financing all this on the poker table..lol.. so pray I win. Postage, paper, and ink pens are expensive when you are broke. I'm going to try and send someone 5 days at a time to post on the email account Zarria opens for us.
Today out of something I copied down out of the FCA Bible I studied Mark 6:14-29; Ephesians 5:1-21. Found it under choices and avoiding trouble. It talked about in Mark the death of John the Baptist and to be honest I'm still not sure what his death or the story has to do with choices or avoiding trouble. Although he was in jail at the time of his beheading! lol me too...but maybe one of you guys can pick up on something and enlighten me! Now the chapter in Ephesians 5:1-21 talks about walking in love and I can definitely relate to it and it scares me a bit. I'm kind of glad I'm in prison right now actually. In reading the chapter it gives direction on how to be Christ-like and walk in favor of the Lord, how to act if you are a new creation, a Christian's behavior if you will. Now at this point your dear old dad falls short everyday but that's why I'm telling all of you so you can help to push me in that direction. Really following God so that we are always pleasing to Him, for a new Christian like myself, it is going to be tough and uncomfortable. The first thing that comes to mind is I'm 42 and it clearly says until Angela and I are married we should not be sexually immoral. Now after being incarcerated a year when I get out that's going to be tough. But I don't want to intentionally give Satan the upper hand and invite him back into my life. So you guys be praying for Angela and I so that we can overcome this problem!
Prayer: Heavenly Father please help Angela and I, Zarria and Nick, Savanah, Faith, Hunter, and Mia know what it is today, to walk in love, to be soldiers for you, let us remind ourselves daily that like it was written in Ephesians 5 we should try and walk out our lives for your cause, however uncomfortable that may be. In Jesus name, Amen.
Today I woke up sore late and got a rough start because I have been exercising a lot. My mind is on Angela and my children. I have been locked up since before Halloween and received 2 letters one from Zarria and one from Angela. Angela's letter gives me encouragement about our situation presently and smells good too! I thought of "my buddy" yesterday as it was her birthday and I miss her terribly. She doesn't know it but I pray for her daily. In writing this page I notice that for 10 years I could have been doing this very thing and sending it to my children, developing a relationship with them. Instead I've hidden from them like a coward and not invested in their lives like I should have! Please forgive me!
Even if I'm in prison and my kids are not all together we can still spend time together in the Lord! Right now I'm financing all this on the poker table..lol.. so pray I win. Postage, paper, and ink pens are expensive when you are broke. I'm going to try and send someone 5 days at a time to post on the email account Zarria opens for us.
Today out of something I copied down out of the FCA Bible I studied Mark 6:14-29; Ephesians 5:1-21. Found it under choices and avoiding trouble. It talked about in Mark the death of John the Baptist and to be honest I'm still not sure what his death or the story has to do with choices or avoiding trouble. Although he was in jail at the time of his beheading! lol me too...but maybe one of you guys can pick up on something and enlighten me! Now the chapter in Ephesians 5:1-21 talks about walking in love and I can definitely relate to it and it scares me a bit. I'm kind of glad I'm in prison right now actually. In reading the chapter it gives direction on how to be Christ-like and walk in favor of the Lord, how to act if you are a new creation, a Christian's behavior if you will. Now at this point your dear old dad falls short everyday but that's why I'm telling all of you so you can help to push me in that direction. Really following God so that we are always pleasing to Him, for a new Christian like myself, it is going to be tough and uncomfortable. The first thing that comes to mind is I'm 42 and it clearly says until Angela and I are married we should not be sexually immoral. Now after being incarcerated a year when I get out that's going to be tough. But I don't want to intentionally give Satan the upper hand and invite him back into my life. So you guys be praying for Angela and I so that we can overcome this problem!
Prayer: Heavenly Father please help Angela and I, Zarria and Nick, Savanah, Faith, Hunter, and Mia know what it is today, to walk in love, to be soldiers for you, let us remind ourselves daily that like it was written in Ephesians 5 we should try and walk out our lives for your cause, however uncomfortable that may be. In Jesus name, Amen.
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