I am not a very patient person, especially when I first step out of prison. I feel like I have to hit the ground running and make up for lost time. I always want to conquer the world in a day. Every day I sit and think about what is important to me, such as my faith and growth in the Spirit, my ministry, my work, my family, my relationships, also getting out of debt, and providing myself with a vehicle and a place for my kids and I to live. When I think of the last 42 years of my life and those opportunities that I have squandered, I am disgusted. Dope, poor choices, and no spiritual direction (sin) have caused these circumstances in my life. God has given us clear instruction in His word as to how to live, choose, pray, and survive in this world. 1 Peter 2:15-24 says, “For this is the will of God that by doing good you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people. Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover up for evil, but living as servants to God. Honor everyone, love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the emperor… When mindful of God one endures sorrows while suffering unjustly, for what credit is it if when you sin you are beaten for it and you endure. But if when you do good and suffer for it you endure, this is good in the sight of God… For once I was straying like a sheep and now I have returned to the Sheppard, the overseer of my soul.”
I’m sure there is a lesson on patience in there somewhere and instruction on how to live. It’s apparent to me that I have not been living properly and following the directions that God left for me so many years ago. No wonder my life has turned into a big mess. God said “whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit. Let him turn away from evil and do good, let him seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and His ears are open to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil” (1 Peter 3:10-12).
Prayer
Father God, I am a sinner and I have not lived my life the way you have instructed. Please forgive me and help me to live a life that will be pleasing to you!
Thoughts:
Every day is a new struggle for me or a familiar one lol But every day that I pick up my Bible, pray, and turn from sin I notice God working on me! I guess I need to be patient for Him to do His thing. Slow down Leach. Let go and let God. I have to keep reminding myself of that! Love you guys and keep your head up!
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